In broader context here, I'm working through some issues with how I deal with my family, while also reflecting on my own biases.

My thought process is radically different from yours. Neither is some right or wrong in an oversimplified dichotomy. In real life we would likely struggle to find common ground in many instances.

I do not know how I feel without taking pause and mulling it over. I can easily tell you what comes to mind in the moment, but that has little to do with the real me. The thing is, I don't really care all that much about how I feel. I do not care to live in that space. I'm driven by curiosity. My view of other people is more like statistics. I'm rarely ever surprised by people. Most people that hurt me in some way were expected as a potential probable outcome. The probabilities of people are a curiosity of mine.

People that are focused inward on their emotions do not make sense to me probabilistically speaking. They are whimsical and random in many respects. I've been hurt by people many times before, especially when I was young. I have learned to never find myself in a vulnerable position with someone that lacks independent ethics to do the right thing when it counts. My real emotions are reserved for cohabitation and no one is welcome in that space without an invitation. So apologizing to me doesn't mean anything. Be a better person and improve themselves to be less predictably terrible, that would be an amusing curiosity. When I know someone is focused inwards on their emotions, I might placate them when needed, but that is limited to trivial misunderstandings when I am aware of them happening. I live by my independent sense of ethics that I subject myself to entirely without exception. Unless you're off somewhere in crazy land, I will always treat you fairly and amicably, but no different than anyone else.

When it comes to irreversible wrongs. I still fall into two wrongs do not make a right. Restitution is ethically obligatory, but beyond that is pointless. If the issue could harm someone else in a preventable way, then that should be addressed, but stuff like vengeance and punishment for the sake of it is stupid to me. For stuff like companies, companies are not people and should be extremely prejudiced in an ethical society. Businesses should be easy to start and even easier to fail, and any excuse to fail should be due cause. That is real capitalism in practice.

Anyways, my sense of judgement is like a 3rd party abstract person in my head. They are not part of my emotions. That separation of judgment from emotions is my definition of the absence of narcissism at a fundamental level. I care more about doing the right thing than I care about doing what is best for me. I'm quite reliable in that respect. I keep people at a distance because that can make me vulnerable to less consistently reliable people, especially when times are hard and it really counts.