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this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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Ask Men
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I bet some dudes will pretend they want a relationship just to try and smash on the first few dates. Then if they like the smashing they'll keep it up til it turns to something real or they get bored. If they don't get laid they'll leave and maybe leave some halfassed its me not you response.
But I'm very upfront about the fact that I'm not a sexual person at all, which I know is a turn off for a lot of guys
But a lot of them still stay after all, I get 100 matches a day so there's very different kinds of men, I still don't understand why they leave and I think it's because they have dates with me as a second option while they're trying something with another person they like more
A lot of men have 0 sex, so you saying you have low sex drive still gives them more than 0 sex. But they would be settling for your amount of sex. If someone else can give them more, they will take that. And probably a lot of people have more sex drive than you. So they will entertain you while they have no other options, but as soon as an option with more sex drive opens up, they are dropping you.
You have to look specifically for people that don't really want/need sex, it is your obligation to figure that out.
Dating in general is a numbers game, you have to go through a lot of people to get what you want. But you have to know what you want and actively filter for it, if like right now, it seems you basically entertain everything who is friendly to you, you will have a lot of the other side canceling, not you canceling.
The no sex thing is going to be major for a lot of people. That isn’t them being shallow either, that is a strong biological motivator for the majority of the human species. It is also one of the most effective tools in a relationship for creating and rekindling intimacy.
With enough searching, you can probably find an asexual man who is interested in a purely romantic relationship, but you also can’t judge other guys for choosing someone else if you are bringing no sexuality to the table.
It seems like OP is being very upfront about it. If her matches go along with it even though they actually want a much higher amount of sex, that's absolutely something to judge them for.
Maybe I missed a comment somewhere, but the original post talks about her saying she’s trans on her profile, not that she is also asexual.
In a comment that you replied to, OP states that "But I’m very upfront about the fact that I’m not a sexual person at all", and includes a screenshot of a text conversation she has with a match where she mentions it.
The screenshot wasn’t loading for me, so I incorrectly interpreted that it was something she was mentioning on the first date. My bad.