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Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 2 weeks ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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[-] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

The no sex thing is going to be major for a lot of people. That isn’t them being shallow either, that is a strong biological motivator for the majority of the human species. It is also one of the most effective tools in a relationship for creating and rekindling intimacy.

With enough searching, you can probably find an asexual man who is interested in a purely romantic relationship, but you also can’t judge other guys for choosing someone else if you are bringing no sexuality to the table.

[-] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

but you also can’t judge other guys for choosing someone else if you are bringing no sexuality to the table.

It seems like OP is being very upfront about it. If her matches go along with it even though they actually want a much higher amount of sex, that's absolutely something to judge them for.

[-] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe I missed a comment somewhere, but the original post talks about her saying she’s trans on her profile, not that she is also asexual.

[-] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

In a comment that you replied to, OP states that "But I’m very upfront about the fact that I’m not a sexual person at all", and includes a screenshot of a text conversation she has with a match where she mentions it.

[-] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

The screenshot wasn’t loading for me, so I incorrectly interpreted that it was something she was mentioning on the first date. My bad.

this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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