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The struggle is real
(feddit.org)
On the one hand I somewhat hate my old name and getting referred to as male, but on the other hand I would actually have to correct others to use my preferred name/pronouns.
Edit: Its not that im uncomfortable with she/her or that I have to fear of people having a negative reaction over it, but instead that I simply do not like to correct people so I do not "fulfill" the st ereotype of "the annoying trans person that constantly annoys you about pronouns". Is it completely irrational to think like that (especially since all of the people I interact with are very accepting)? Yes! Do I still feel that way? Also yes!
If the tutor was being deliberately insensitive, that's awful. If the tutor was just being regular person stupid, it's pretty funny. People make mistakes all the time, and we don't really think about everything we say. Using the correct pronouns shouldn't be stressful as long as you're trying to treat people with respect and decency.
Deliberately using the wrong pronouns is just bullying, though.
Did the tutor continue misgendering regularly? They/them can be especially hard when you're not used to referring to people whose identity you know that way. If it happens often, though, yeah, the tutor's being a dick.
tbh I have these kinds of interactions all the time and often the person doesn't even realize they made the mistake - I wouldn't necessarily assume the immediate mispronouning was intentional - in this context it seems more likely they were not thinking rather than trying to openly defy or bully.
You have to remember, most people are not used to thinking about what pronouns they are using and it's a mostly unconscious / automatic process based on quick judgements about a person's gender. Even I find myself doing this when in trans spaces, when I'm taking my time speaking I can use the right pronouns, but when I get excited or otherwise start thinking and speaking too quickly, I fall back to those automatic and less conscious ways of using pronouns and end up mispronouning people. I do think practice helps incorporate pronoun awareness, over time it gets easier to use someone's pronouns and to not make mistakes for example.
Not to say bullying isn't a possibility - it definitely happens, and I've had moments where it felt like my colleagues at work were intentionally referring to me with the wrong pronoun and then correcting themselves with a kind of smirk. That just has a particular feel, though - it feels intentional. Much harder to know from an email like this, though, whether it is defiance or a slip of the mind.