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What does Dysphoria feel like (for you)?
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this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Transfem
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My experience with dysphoria has always been subtle and unspecific. It took a very long time for me to recognize it.
In adulthood, it was little more than a slight inclination towards depression. Whenever I would notice it, it was far easier to attribute it to immediate circumstances.
When I felt it in winter, surely its just seasonal depression. When I felt it in summer, its just because I hate summer. During covid I was miserable because I couldn't go anywhere, then afterwards I was miserable because I had to go places. This was all dysphoria, but nothing about it gave any indication it was about gender.
Also I had the emotional range of a thimble. (what is this metaphor?) I could feel empty, or angry, and little else.
I never liked how I looked in pictures avoided taking them, or appearing in them when possible. I guess I'm just ugly, that's the most reasonable explanation.
It took me a very long time to realize I was trans, and even longer to be ready to accept it. It wasn't until I started HRT and most of what I have described went away that I realized it was dysphoria.
I dislike the word dysphoria, because its such a strong word. For a long time I thought that my subtle and nonspecific feelings couldn't possibly be enough to be dysphoria.
To anyone out there reading this because you're uncertain if you're feeling dysphoria: When a disorder is named after its symptoms it's usually named at a very early stage of research, when researchers are only able to find the most obvious examples. This is why so many disorders have incredibly scary sounding names. Dysphoria can be that bad for some, but it can also be so subtle you don't even realize you're suffering.
This description matches my experience closely. I haven’t started HRT for several reasons, but I am curious to know whether it would address the depression that has been the background radiation of my adulthood.
Hey, I don’t know if anyone is ever going to go back and read a thread this old. If you have and are reading this, since making the original comment I have started HRT. Moreover, it did, almost immediately, alleviate the depression and vague sense of impending dread that I had felt my entire adult life. I’m 9 months in and can confirm that this change is not temporary euphoria but appears to be a permanent improvement in my state of mind and wellbeing. If you’re in a similar place to where I was a year ago, take heed and best of luck.
Very true! Up until about a month before my egg cracked, I would have described myself as a cheerful person who was never depressed, and happy with who I was.
Same. In many ways ignorance is bliss, but it is no substitute.