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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by cows_are_underrated@feddit.org to c/mtf

Well, as the title says, I Am curious what Dysphoria feels like for you? When/how did you realise, that certain feelings are in reality Dysphoria?

Edit: Damn, some of you really have lived through a lot. I Am very happy that I can't really relate to quite some of the comments here, because that sounds horrible.

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[-] ncc21166 12 points 4 days ago

I had a double whammy of "phantom pain" and it's opposite of somehow also having parts that shouldn't be there. It feels like the vagina that I should have been born with is aching to just be there and that the parts I do have are always just somehow in the way. They feel foreign, like a transplant that's being rejected. The awful part is that the latter started when I was a very young child. I kept trying to "move it out of the way" and was always getting yelled at.

It took almost 30 years for me to fully grasp why these feelings were happening, and then I spent the next 10+ in an internal battle over whether to just give up on life or to keep going to keep my spouse happy. This essentially manifested as a kind of depression where I was withdrawn from everything that was happening around me. I just went through the daily motions with occasional small glimmers of the outside world, usually when something really good happened with my spouse around.

After starting GAHT, they straight up said to me "I'm glad to have you back! You're actually here with me now". Sometimes it's almost a physical pain, and sometimes it's a mental disconnect, and sometimes it would qualify as clinical depression. However, like everything else in this journey, we all go through the process differently. Your mileage may vary in transition, but it also likely varies on the way to starting, too.

If you haven't read it yet, I strongly recommend reading The Gender Dysphoria Bible

[-] OldEggNewTricks 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I kept trying to “move it out of the way” and was always getting yelled at.

Ha, I'd almost forgotten! Yes, I was also the weird kid that showed all their friends how to tuck to look like a girl. You know the thing about "does sir dress to the left or right?" I was always, "neither, I just kind of tuck it out the way".

Oh, and one time I got it caught in a zipper trying to put on pants without admitting it was there. That wasn't fun.

Wait, I just remembered this as well: I used to get told off all the time for wearing my waistline high, around the navel like women. No wonder I repressed it so long.

this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
61 points (100.0% liked)

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