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Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
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- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
I had a double whammy of "phantom pain" and it's opposite of somehow also having parts that shouldn't be there. It feels like the vagina that I should have been born with is aching to just be there and that the parts I do have are always just somehow in the way. They feel foreign, like a transplant that's being rejected. The awful part is that the latter started when I was a very young child. I kept trying to "move it out of the way" and was always getting yelled at.
It took almost 30 years for me to fully grasp why these feelings were happening, and then I spent the next 10+ in an internal battle over whether to just give up on life or to keep going to keep my spouse happy. This essentially manifested as a kind of depression where I was withdrawn from everything that was happening around me. I just went through the daily motions with occasional small glimmers of the outside world, usually when something really good happened with my spouse around.
After starting GAHT, they straight up said to me "I'm glad to have you back! You're actually here with me now". Sometimes it's almost a physical pain, and sometimes it's a mental disconnect, and sometimes it would qualify as clinical depression. However, like everything else in this journey, we all go through the process differently. Your mileage may vary in transition, but it also likely varies on the way to starting, too.
If you haven't read it yet, I strongly recommend reading The Gender Dysphoria Bible
Ha, I'd almost forgotten! Yes, I was also the weird kid that showed all their friends how to tuck to look like a girl. You know the thing about "does sir dress to the left or right?" I was always, "neither, I just kind of tuck it out the way".
Oh, and one time I got it caught in a zipper trying to put on pants without admitting it was there. That wasn't fun.
Wait, I just remembered this as well: I used to get told off all the time for wearing my waistline high, around the navel like women. No wonder I repressed it so long.