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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by oftheair to c/aroaceagender

So a partner and us are thinking about getting married so we can emigrate somewhere (we do genuinely want to be together). However we're both ace-spec and thus don't have sex.

We're also both not cis, nor monogamous.

They're also aromantic and thus with all these things we don't behave in a typical mono allocishet way.

So is there any hope for us or will marriage fraud investigators tell us no without us kissing, having sex and generally behaving as expected?

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[-] vzq@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

That really depends on where you are going and where you are coming from.

In general, if you are going to a place that recognizes your union (civil or not, heterosexual or not), have paperwork to back it up, and have been sharing your life as partners for a while (ie shared financial responsibilities etc), you should not have any more trouble than non-ace couples.

Believe it or not, outside of weird sexually perverted cults like the Roman Catholic Church, having sex is not a requirement for marriage.

[-] oftheair 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, we are both from different countries so sharing finances for anything is difficult and we're both relatively poor.

Well, we did look up on this page and it seemed to indicate requiring the marriage to be 'consummated' and other things we don't do nor want to.

[-] vzq@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I can find no indication of “consummation” or other terms that’ that seems to necessarily imply sexual activity other than a reference to birth control.

Anyway, immigration proceedings are stressful and heartless. I definitely recommend making sure you know your rights and the process. I know money is tight, but if you can find an immigration lawyer that has experience with the immigration process of LGBTQ+ and other “non-traditional” couples that would definitely be a very very big boost to your chances.

I don’t know if “we don’t have sex” is going to count as a strike against you in a U.S. immigration hearing, but the lawyer definitely should.

What definitely counts as a strike against you is lying, and they are really good at finding out, so I don’t recommend you pretend your physical relationship is different than it is.

this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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