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Bidet anyone? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 11 months ago by uberstar@lemmy.ml to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 89 points 11 months ago

When people think a bidet is stupid, I always ask: If you had poop on your arm, would you clean it with water or just wipe it with a dry towel and call it a day?

Not to mention it's less irritating for ur bum

[-] Daxtron2@startrek.website 42 points 11 months ago
[-] swab148@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago
[-] bhamlin@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Hey, that's mine. You can't have it.

[-] swab148@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago
[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 17 points 11 months ago

This question shows that people can have differing standards of cleanliness and it's OK. Because the answer is "would you spray your arm with water only or would you use soap?" Bidets don't use soap, so with either bidet or paper you can still feel dirty until a shower, it's just what level of dirty you're willing to accept.

[-] sircac@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Bidets don’t use soap? Well, I use soap on every use, what kind of bidet instructions do you follow up? Sponge and hands, a bidet is like a mini shower in your groins without a full body implication, is just a washbasin at a convenient height… don’t you wash your hands and your face in the morning with soap in the washbasin?

EDIT: Probably we imply different things for “bidet”, I got South European one in mind…

[-] MeetInPotatoes@lemmy.ml 9 points 11 months ago

Hey, fellow Spuds fan. I have a similar one but it's: "If you smeared peanut butter on the outside of a watermelon but wiped it off with dry toilet paper, wouldn't you expect it to still smell like peanut butter?

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 months ago

Honestly, I feel like they're both gonna smell like peanut butter about the same

Especially if you do that with a potato instead of a watermelon

[-] MeetInPotatoes@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

Certainly the one you've sprayed after wiping would smell less like peanut butter though? The first thing we do when cleaning anything seriously is get the wiper/scrubber/sponge/paper towel wet, with either water or cleaning solutions.

The moral of the story is y'all need to wash your asses however it gets done.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 months ago

I mean if your argument is that things will be cleaner if you wash them twice (once with paper and once with water), compared to washing it once, then the answer is obviously yes washing twice will make things cleaner than washing them once.

I do agree that alternating between scrubbing (paper) and rinsing (bidet) will probably get you cleaner - but based on the comments I see, that's not what bidet users are actually doing.

But yes, folks need to wash their asses better.
And their hands too, way too many people leave public washroom without washing their hands. Wtf.

[-] MeetInPotatoes@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

No, that's not my argument. It's that the first thing we do when we are about to wipe down a counter (or anything else) with a rag is to get the rag wet. It's that none of us trust a dry wiping/cleaning tool to be effective, it's just going to smear the funk around.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 months ago

No, the first things you do when you're about to wipe a counter with a rag is to get a rag.

Sometimes you wipe with a wet cloth, occasionally you wipe with a dry cloth, but you never wipe with no cloth and just water.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think TP is better that bidets, but this sanctimonious metaphor is just so dumb that I can't deal with it.

[-] MeetInPotatoes@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

You haven't understood my pretty clear language and then are calling my metaphor dumb? Wow.

You don't wipe with no cloth and just water alone? No shit, are you going for a promotion from Captain Obvious to Major Lee Obvious?

Your "no, the first thing you do is get the rag" is about the dumbest response I can imagine and inaccurate since the situation was framed as "wipe with a rag" implying a situation where one already has the rag. You might as well have wrote "the first thing you do is put on appropriate non-skid footwear and remove any rings."

You're not pedantic, you're pretending to score points by calling me out for omitting the incredibly obvious parts that really didn't need to be said at all.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

the first thing you do is get a rag

Was because you were downplaying the importance of the rag. The rag is more important than the water is. If you're cleaning a mess, and your choice is between water and rag, you choose the rag.

How commonly do bidet users scrub with both TP and water in a single sitting? The internet and this comment section suggests it's pretty rare.

People are choosing between bidet (water) and tp (rag), and in your analogy, you're saying the sensible choice is to wash something with only water and no rag. Your analogy only holds water (lol) if you don't actually think about it.

Is that clear enough for you?

[-] MeetInPotatoes@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

No, my point has always been that you wouldn't try to clean anything with a dry rag, so bidets make more sense than toilet paper. My example was putting peanut butter on watermelon and wiping it with toilet paper, you'd still expect it to smell like peanut butter, would you not? IYou took it to have some meaning I never intended.

I had a bidet for a while and would use it, drip for a bit, then dry off and "finish" with a round toilet paper. It's a pretty easy way to prevent the possibility of bidet water dripping down your leg and just felt...cleaner? This is a shitty conversation anyway ;) Anyway, this seems like we just misunderstood each other. I apologize for my share of the barbs. Take care.

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 8 points 11 months ago

You still have to wipe though, right? Using just water to clean it off your arm would still leave a stain. You have to make contact to rub away what remains somehow.

I've used a few bidets and while it was fun and they did an ok job there was no soap involved and I still had to wipe. I don't hate them, they make some sense, but a bidet is not magic.

[-] cmbabul@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

I’ve used a bidet for a decade and the only reason I have to wipe is to dry off

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago

Only if you have a solid one. If your poo is sticky it leaves a smear and even high pressure water won't shift, and that's when you need a wipe.

[-] dessalines@lemmy.ml 15 points 11 months ago

You've never used one and it shows.

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

I have. A bunch of times. They are in most of the hotel rooms I stay in.

[-] CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

Then you don’t use it well. Which is fine, it took me a while to get used to mine and use it effectively.

[-] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 1 points 11 months ago

it's water. what do you think is "using it well"? the only way to properly sanitize an asshole is drench it in water and use a little soap. Change your diet several days beforehand if you want to have fun down there.

[-] CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Unironically, positioning, pressure, and time. It took me a while to be fine with the pressure needed to actually clean anything, let alone letting it stay on long enough to thoroughly clean. Plus you gotta angle yourself so everything gets clean.

Saying “it’s water” proves you don’t know enough, which explains why you’ve had a bad experience. No shame in that, like I said it took me a while. Stick with it, it’s worth it.

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[-] optissima@possumpat.io 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I use one and have IBS with issues as you describe. The bidet is miles better, and previous to that I had to use wet wipes because TP wasn't even as effective. You're using it incorrectly if you think it's less effective than paper.

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

I don't think it is less effective. I tthink it is more efficient but isn't perfect.

[-] optissima@possumpat.io 2 points 11 months ago

Again, you don't seem to have these problems to know and I do.

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

Congratulations. Tell you what, I'll send you pictures next time I use a bidet.

[-] optissima@possumpat.io 1 points 11 months ago

I will say, the first bidet was cheap and bad. It didn't clean effectively and didn't have water pressure options, which I think are required for a good experience.

[-] cmbabul@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

This has never happened to me across a wide variety of shits

[-] The_Cunt_of_Monte_Cristo@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Wipe your shit, wash your ass and wipe again to dry off your anus.

[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 months ago

If the pressure is right u should be able to get everything, but yeah even then you need to dry it.

[-] null@slrpnk.net 3 points 11 months ago

You still have to wipe though, right?

Yes, of course.

[-] arbitrary_sarcasm@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Loudermilk had an episode on this.

[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

This is a trap, literally none of you want to hear why bidets are disgusting and I will not be dragged into this again.

Fuck bidets and everyone who recommends them.

[-] null@slrpnk.net 11 points 11 months ago
[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago
[-] null@slrpnk.net 6 points 11 months ago

Yup, you're wrong. And you have a dirty ass.

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[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 11 months ago

what? I like them but I'm happy to hear your arguments if you would articulate them.

"You're wrong I'm right but I won't tell you why" is the opposite of a useful comment

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[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

Honestly I'd say wiping my arm with a bunch of paper towels is about the same as spraying it down with a garden hose. I feel like people who say otherwise have never actually tried to rinse something off their body with just water pressure and no scrubbing.

I still plan to get a bidet because it's less irritating as you said.

this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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