It doesn't really sound like you want the government to get out of people's lives. Fair taxation, defending protected classes, and gun regulation are all very hands-on, and I agree that they're all important. The real thing right wingers mean when they say "small government" is "no regulation for corporations or states" so they can be as authoritarian as they want locally and the rich don't need to pay taxes. Banning gay marriage, controlling reproductive rights, and immigration control are not small government tasks, they're just tasks they want the authority to mandate on a state level since they know they'll never get the entire country on board.

What I wish more "centrists" would realize is that no one in the country, except anarchists, actually want small government, because they can't enforce control over the things they don't like without it. Rules for thee, not for me.