Hey all, i need some advice. Theres a person i have to deal with on a regular basis that repeatedly misgenders me, and im having issues dealing with it. I would appreciate advice on how to approach and deal with this cause im at a loss.
So this person is themselves nonbinary, which makes this all the more difficult and frustrating cause they should know better (warning, small rant incoming). They are the first to call out others on their errors (in a rather intense way) but cannot handle being called out themselves, theyve even gotten upset when someone they volunteer with gets a compliment on their work because they think you should compliment everyone or no one (but theyre fine with being complimented individually when its them recieving the compliment). They engage in performative diversity (eg publicising and parading around "i included so-and-so queer person") and tokenize others and use their own identity as a shield (they cannot do anything wrong to queer people because theyre nonbinary and pansexual). They seem to reduce gender to presentation, which is shocking as theyre a feminine presenting nonbinary person who has been very clear that theyre not a girl.
Ive come out to them four times now. Im fucking done. And the sad part is, i dont think its malicious. I think they just literally dont give a shit. They go off about how being called she/her is so frustrating and traumatizing for them, but they misgender me fucking constantly. We just met up for the first time after the summer break (we volunteer in an education adjacent area) and my SO was constantly gendering me correctly and calling me by my name but still, they persist. Today was especially hard cause i was at that point in my cycle and have been really emotional today and yesterday.
To sum up, i need advice on how to deal with this situation. I am at a loss for how to get them to stop. I dont want to give up this volunteering because i really enjoy it, and its basically my only hobby/thing that gets me out of the house. But theyre making it impossible to enjoy. I have the assertiveness of a damp paper towel, and ive already tried talking to them (four fucking times!), so what else can i do?
Thanks for any and all insight, advice, and/or camraderie. Im sending this off into the ether before i head to sleep so ill respond come morning.
These were a bit difficult to answer, cause i dont know exactly what youre after - precise examples such as given in question 1 would be helpful. I could be way off base on what you were asking about in your questions.
In general i think you might want to look into image based programming if you havent already (e.g. smalltalk systems, lisp machines, etc.) as many of these provide language server esq connections to their editor. Of note is interlisp-d with its structural editor, which if i remember right edits the source code data structures in memory.
Regarding Q1: this workflow has been implemented in various languages for a long time. The one i am most familiar with is the swank/slynk server for CL. If i remember right it opens up its own thread to process everything, and communicates on a specific port.
Regarding Q2: perhaps im misunderstanding or just forcing my own perceptions onto the question, but this seems to be more an issue of session management within the LSP client; assuming communication over a specific port, its more about the client figuring out which commands to send to which port.
Regarding Q3: im probably misunderstanding this one, because it seems like a duplicate of question 2 with some extra requirements
Regarding Q4: this can also be done. For loading from markup see literate programming (theres a CL system for loading systems from org files called literate-lisp). For loading from the internet and databases, im unsure what you mean; whether source code or byte code or machine code or what have you its all just ordered information, which can be grabbed from its storage location with the right tools (web client, db bindings, etc).
Hopefully all that was helpful :)