[-] SoleInvictus 9 points 3 days ago

I nut thrice each day for the poor souls who go without.

[-] SoleInvictus 3 points 4 days ago

+1 for Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It is a massive help in learning to communicate better with others AND better figure out my feelings and needs.

[-] SoleInvictus 10 points 4 days ago

Oh yesssss. Get middling quality cast iron, grind it flat, and reseason. A couple of hours of work and you have primo quality cast iron cookware.

Also: you can clean cast iron with soap.

[-] SoleInvictus 10 points 4 days ago

And make "war in everything but name" considered war too.

[-] SoleInvictus 7 points 5 days ago

I am currently tackling the result of over 10 years of my partner doing similarly. It's absolute hell and the unhealthy coping mechanisms I developed to tolerate their abuse had made me into someone I no longer like.

If I could go back in time, I'd do one of two things:

Present a clear and detailed list of your non-negotiable relationship needs, including topics like conflict resolution, personal accountability, and healthy communication. The needs are non-negotiable but you can and should work together to determine how they are met.

If that needs list and proposal to collaborate are not completely and enthusiastically accepted, run. Run far and fast. This person does not care for your needs and feelings, so it WILL get worse.

[-] SoleInvictus 1 points 6 days ago

Same! It always seemed like my somatic symptoms popped up out of nowhere. After a fair bit of mindfulness meditation, I discovered I simply wasn't feeling them until my body was practically screaming at me.

[-] SoleInvictus 4 points 6 days ago

Fuck yeah. I only have one sibling and they're a narcissist.

[-] SoleInvictus 8 points 6 days ago

Ohhhhh fuck. Glad I saw your comment before getting too invested.

[-] SoleInvictus 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yes! As someone that dances, please DO NOT join interest groups just to hit on people. Join groups that do something you're interested in, then hit on anyone you might be interested in as you naturally meet them.

Doing the first causes two big problems:

  1. Whoever you meet is likely genuinely interested in the activity that may be the basis of your initial relationship. If you don't actually enjoy it, either you drop out or you continue doing something you don't truly enjoy, both of which detract from the relationship.

  2. Everybody fucking hates these people. Seriously. We know who they are within a few sessions and that puts everyone's hackles up.

[-] SoleInvictus 164 points 2 months ago

I got fired for this! Even though it was my lunch break, I was off the clock, and I have a chronic illness that makes working an 8-10 hour day exhausting, I was fired since I was "setting a bad example for the junior staff".

Guess who got an EEOC/disability settlement.

[-] SoleInvictus 139 points 3 months ago

It depends - are their arms broken?

[-] SoleInvictus 207 points 4 months ago

I need to do chores today, so I instead used my procrastination energy here! It's the molar of a herbivore. Here's what I have:

Definitely not beaver. Beaver incisors are orange and shaped very differently and it's far too large to be a beaver premolar or molar. Wrong morphology anyhow - beaver pre/molars are plicated and this is not. It's also not from a muskrat based on all the same criteria but the plication.

It's definitely from a bovid, not from a caprid or equid. Equids tend to have these bizarre columnar molars, and caprid molars are too small and the wrong shape. Since you're in Germany, that leaves us with cows and European bison.

It's the first or second molar from one of those based on the two cusps; if it had three cusps, it'd be the third molar. What clinches it is the asymmetrical gap in the roots (called a furcation area). Cows have a gap right in the middle of their first and second molars, whereas bison have an off-center gap in their first molar.

Congratulations, you have a bison M1!

Cow X-ray

Bison X-ray

78
Moderator rules rule (self.onehundredninetysix)
submitted 9 months ago by SoleInvictus to c/onehundredninetysix

Hey look, me again! Just like we need community rules, we also need moderator guidelines to set expectations for our behavior. As with community rules, we want everyone to weigh in on them since this is a community for all of us. Here's what we have, let us know what you think:

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don't be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM if you have the time and energy.
  • Don't waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don't tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Don't perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don't want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven't been banned of course.
  • Some users are stupid and focus on pedantry and technicalities. If you struggle to deal with such users, send them to another mod.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like "this statement can be considered transphobic" rather than "you are being transphobic".
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don't get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
97
Community rules rule (self.onehundredninetysix)
submitted 9 months ago by SoleInvictus to c/onehundredninetysix

Hiiii everybody! We need rules to keep the place from going off the rails and your mod team would like you to give them a review and let us know what you think. We're going to implement them now as a temporary ruleset so I'll slap them into the sidebar shortly, then make amendments based on commentary. Here's what we've got:

Community Rules

  • Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
  • Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
  • Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
  • Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
  • Avoid AI generated content.
  • Avoid corpoposting.
  • Avoid misinformation.
  • Avoid incomprehensible posts.
  • No prejudice such as transphobia, racism, ableism, etc.
  • No threats or personal attacks.
  • No spam.
  • No tankie, nazi, or any other authoritarian behavior.
  • No genocide denial.
126
196ers - We need a banner and icon! (self.onehundredninetysix)
submitted 9 months ago by SoleInvictus to c/onehundredninetysix

Everyone, we need to spruce the place up, so we wanted to reach out to you all for submissions for the icon and banner. Here's the idea: submit icons and banners (SFW please). I'll leave this stickied for 72 hours, then we'll pick the most popular of each by upvotes.

I couldn't find specs on icon dimensions, but it appears icons are square and tend to look best at least 256 x 256. Banners tend to be...rectangularish. Here are three banner examples: ( 1 ) ( 2 ) ( 3 )

As always, let me know if you have questions.

291
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by SoleInvictus to c/onehundredninetysix

I'm kinda regretting not naming it oneninesix, but here we are. I guess I love letters.

~~To anyone wondering what's up, I did this on my phone while out in the "big city", so I'm still waiting to get home to do anything serious. I have a few ~~suckers~~ really nice people who volunteered for modding along with me. Anyone else who is interested, drop me a line. I'll be picking mods when I get home in a few hours. Sorry for the wait and I'll do my best to put out any fires in the meantime. I didn't think this would take off!~~

For those wondering, here's my take on moderating the place.

  1. Moderation is to facilitate an experience for its users in line with the goals of the community and the instance. It's not to push a personal agenda, give you a bigger hammer in debates, set up a digital fiefdom, etc. You certainly can and should include your mod experience on your dating profile, though. Unilateral decisions are not cool except in a few situations, like if 100% of your userbase is usurped by literal Nazis.

  2. 196 exists to be a place where you post something (often but not always something goofy) when you visit. I know not everyone does and that's fine - I still love you. These things can't be offensive or hurtful, though, especially not intentionally so. Unintentional vs intentional I believe is a HUGE distinction and needs to be considered when moderating.

  3. ~~LBJ~~ LBZ exists as an inclusive, (relatively) judgment-free zone for gender-diverse folks. I intend for us to uphold that here. I say relatively judgment free because there will be people looking to start shit and mods and admins are going to have to judge their actions, but only their actions.

If you wanna be my modder, you gotta get with my bullet points...or argue persuasively why I should amend them (but that part doesn't fit the tune).The three big things I'm looking for otherwise are diverse viewpoints, if you can remain reasonably impartial, and if you can say you're sorry. The last is huge for me. As a mod, you're going to mess up. I used to mod on Reddit and I certainly did! I find it's important for maintaining the community's respect to be able to admit when you made a bad call and what you'll do to avoid it in the future.

@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone, pointers would be welcome as I think you do a great job.

Community feedback is encouraged and welcome, just be aware I'll be a little slow to respond for a bit.

PS: wow, I really DO love letters!

Edit: Corrected point three, damn autocorrect! Believe it or not, we're not an inclusive community in LBJ's corpse.

Update 20/1/25: We're replete with mods for now! Thank you all who reached out. I'll start pulling these stickies as they get irrelevant, I'm just a full disclosure kind of person so I want people to know what is/has been going on.

200
Guess I'll Start Rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by SoleInvictus to c/onehundredninetysix

Starting with the time-honored tradition of copying a meme I just saw.

I'll nuke this community if we get 196 back (edit: if the community agrees to nuking, fuck unilateral decisions)

11
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by SoleInvictus to c/communism@lemmy.ml

Hi everyone, I know this isn't 100% on topic but this seemed like the closest fit. You all tend to be more generally knowledgeable than the average Lemming. Feel free to remove if it's too off topic.

In the last few years, I watched what I believe was a YouTube video on South Korean misinformation about North Korea. It discussed defectors, the conditioning they receive after defecting, and celebrity defectors. I recall it also interviewed some North Koreans living in South Korea.

Does anyone know the video I'm thinking of?

563
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by SoleInvictus to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

I couldn't find a more appropriate place to post this. It's a bar in Reykjavik. Cool place, would recommend.

40
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by SoleInvictus to c/mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world

Seriously people, use the fucking fan. It clears away odors and covers up the sounds of your dropping a deuce. If you want to stew in your shit smell and revel in the music of your magical poop plops, do so in the comfort of your own home. If you're a guest and the bathroom has a fan, turn it on. We don't want to share.

146
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by SoleInvictus to c/youshouldknow@lemmy.world

"I live in a right-to-work state, so my employer can shitcan me for any reason".

-Linus K. Lemming

Sorry friends, that's at-will employment, *and you still can't be terminated for any reasons that are protected by law, but we're not here to discuss that. Right-to-work laws mean one thing: that non-union employees cannot be required to contribute to the cost of union representation.

The Taft-Hartley Act of 1947 prohibits "closed shops", where union membership is a condition of employment; however, union represented positions can still be required to contribute to the cost of that representation. Right-to-work laws prohibit that requirement, allowing employees in union represented positions who choose not to join the union to also choose whether or not they contribute to the union's costs, i.e., if they pay dues or not.

I see this mistake frequently and thought folks might want to know the correct information so they don't unintentionally perpetuate it.

Edit: updated to include link to info about at-will employment.

26
submitted 1 year ago by SoleInvictus to c/linux@lemmy.ml

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/12310804

Halp! Calibrating touchscreen on Panasonic CF-30

Hey all! I've been having an issue I can't figure out. Suddenly, I realized I'm in the heart of Linux users! I can ask here! I'm a total noob, so please be gentle.

I installed Xubuntu and got everything but the touchscreen working properly. The touchscreen works but the cursor is consistently off a bit, with the least error in the center of the screen and increasing as it moves to the sides. I've tried running xinput_calibrator but it doesn't help. I attempted to run libinput.calibrate-touchscreen but keep getting a "is a Wayland compositor running?" error message.

Any suggestions?

7
submitted 1 year ago by SoleInvictus to c/linuxquestions@lemmy.zip

Hey all! I've been having an issue I can't figure out. Suddenly, I realized I'm in the heart of Linux users! I can ask here! I'm a total noob, so please be gentle.

I installed Xubuntu and got everything but the touchscreen working properly. The touchscreen works but the cursor is consistently off a bit, with the least error in the center of the screen and increasing as it moves to the sides. I've tried running xinput_calibrator but it doesn't help. I attempted to run libinput.calibrate-touchscreen but keep getting a "is a Wayland compositor running?" error message.

Any suggestions?

view more: ‹ prev next ›

SoleInvictus

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF