Sorry, here's a better crop

I've had a voice babbling away in my head since I was four. Most of the time it says the stupidest stuff and then calls itself stupid for saying that stuff

There was this one time as a teenager I meditated so hard I somehow shut off my inner monologue and got to experience my thoughts directly, at least until I realized what I was seeing and got excited enough to disrupt the precarious meditative state that got me there. Never managed to replicate it since then.

Unironically, same.

That's just how it is during a period

OP is the mod of this community

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is my go-to

What the fuck

Is that St. Luigi?

What i tell you now must never be repeated to my parents. I will deny every word, except for the latter part that resulted in me burning a hole in the driveway since they already know about that.

When I was a teen, I spilled some gas on the concrete floor of the garage while filling up the lawn mower. I thought to myself, "What's the fastest way to clean this up?" Clearly the fastest option was to burn it. This did in fact work and produced a controllable flame, but I had neglected to move the closed plastic gas can away from the puddle of gasoline. As it turns out, plastic is made of flammable petrochemicals. The outside of it immediately caught on fire.

I realized that if the gas can lost structural integrity, gas would flood the garage floor, likely setting the whole structure ablaze. So, I picked up the flaming jug of death and ran out of the garage, setting it in the middle of the asphalt driveway downwind of any important structures. I now had the task of putting out a gasoline fire. How could I do this? Obviously, the best way to put out a fire is to spray it with a hose. So I grabbed the garden hose and aimed the nozzle at the melting jug of death.

This did not work. As it turns out, gasoline floats on water, and as such spraying water on a gasoline fire simply increases its surface area. It roared like a bonfire and the plastic can rapidly collapsed. Additionally, it turns out that asphalt is mainly composed of tar, which is a flammable petrochemical.

At some point I realized I had no idea what I was doing and called the fire department. By the time a fireman arrived, all that remained of the blaze was a smoking hole in the driveway the size of a small child, which was extinguished with a handheld chemical extinguisher.

My dad, at the time, was in charge of the safety training at the local chemical plant. My attempt to extinguish the flaming jug of death made an appearance in one of his PowerPoint slides as an example of what not to do with an oil fire.

I do take issue with this. Indigenous hunting practices are not really all that sustainable, they're just done in smaller amounts so the waste is less visible. We have the opportunity to use technology to live more sustainably in our environment; corpos just don't want to invest in that.

Gonna send this to my MIL so I don't have to come to family gatherings anymore