Not my default, but okay, you're clearly bad faith. I'm done. Goodbye.

I actually agree with this statement in regards to neutrality versus affirmation, though I don't think it actually applies in this case.

I'm just going to unpack some definitions. I'm not going to use the loaded word "pandering." Some people will value neutrality, which I define as being treated the same as everyone else while ignoring any recognization of someone's identity in a marginalized group, over positive affirmation, which I define as people paying special considerations toward someone in a way that directly validates a person's identity. Pandering, a different but occasionally related term, refers to a person who uses positive affirmation for personal gain without necessarily believing in the identity or person they're affirming.

Genuine pandering is a problem, and examples include greenwashing, performative feminism, and rainbow capitalism. Right-wingers sometimes falsely accuse people or organizations of "pandering" when said people or organizations genuinely believe what they preach. There is no evidence that OOP was pandering, and an abundance of evidence that OOP genuinely believed what she wrote.

Some people prefer neutrality, and that's okay if they don't demand that everyone must adopt neutrality. Some people want people in their lives who are affirming, which is also okay if they associate themselves with people who genuinely want to be affirming.

The issue here is that you invaded another group and insisted they must live by your standards. You wrote here that you "hate people who pander" and that since you personally don't like that, "the same should apply to trans groups." I believe that is bigoted, but I rate it like a 3 out of 10 on the Bigot Scale.

I'm not telling the gay male community that their gayness must be affirmed, if that's not what they want. I have no right to. It's up to all of us whether neutrality or affirmation feels right for us, and then communicate that accordingly. In my case, I prefer affirmation with close friends, but neutrality in the workplace.

I'll say that I've seen so much transphobic stuff with "I'm a gay man" as an opening line, and it's getting exhausting. LBT without the G lmao (/sarc, of course, as I'd rather we all find ways to coexist).

How's that for an original thought?

I am so glad I had the foresight to use yt-dlp to back up most of my favorite videos. Not all of them, but I just thought we'd get more time.

But yeah, I knew this would happen. The age verification thing was really controversial, so Google would have had to expect that people would try to find other ways to access YouTube. They won't stop here and will go after Deno and NewPipe.

I'm pretty much done with YouTube. It's just not what it used to be. All my favorite YouTubers are either gone, have changed for the worse, or are on Nebula. It's mostly just slop, and I won't miss it.

This is one of those areas that make me think social media was a mistake.

Humans exaggerate. Humans are sometimes imprecise with language, especially when they've been hurt. Humans aren't poised and composed 100% of the time. This applies to both women who have been hurt by men and say they "hate them," and the men who take the words literally. But social media kind of moved conversations that were once in private or semi-private in-person spaces out in the open. It relies on these misunderstandings to fuel retention time and boost ad exposure.

In those in-person spaces, you could feel really depressed and tell other women "I hate men" to mean "I hate how men treat me," and you'd have a really understanding environment and feel supported without bringing in waves of hurt, defensive men.

This post is nice, and it is wonderful when male allies read the message and not the words themselves. I hope more choose that approach in the future. But I don't think this problem will ever go away, not as long as we choose social media as the place where the message is sent. I will say I am more sympathetic about women here, since the "I hate men" declaration nearly always comes from a man doing something genuinely hurtful, whereas defensiveness over "I hate men" comes from taking the words too literally.

There was this really interesting indie game called Atlas Wept. I played the demo and it was really high-intensity fun using new and innovative systems. Loved it. But then reviewers on YouTube tore the game apart and the dev made the game so much easier that you could finish the game without really interacting with the core mechanics at all, without providing separate difficulty settings.

The game was still feeling good, but I feel like we really lost something, and people would have realized that if the dev had listened to more than just the people who are financially incentivized to be impatient with the games they play.

It's just a shame that DVDs and Blu-Rays for new movies aren't really made anymore. They're just leaving money on the table at this point that bootleggers in Malaysia are getting instead.

But still, absolutely. DVD all the way. I fixed the cord I cut back in 2015 and I'm much better off for it.

c/askwomen was recently closed due to inactivity, but I think reviving it in some way would be really positive for Lemmy and creates an environment where men go to that community with the expectation of getting responses from women and not each other in discussions about women, so I wouldn't be as worried about echo chambers forming.

So I love this idea.

Broadly speaking, kiwifarms is also a community where men comment on mirred posts from other social media sites, which tells me that it's potentially a disaster waiting to happen.

I'd live in fear of men crossposting to make fun of or criticize things I write without my knowledge.

No one needs the internet outside of work. The moment I'm forced to show my ID or get my face scanned, I'm done for good.

50/50. I live in a trans sanctuary city with a large LGBT presence. Pride events and businesses are welcoming, and people are generally nice. The cis friends I have left are really accepting. One of my best friends, who is a cis lesbian, stopped interacting with me after I came out. There's a local TERF activist who lives down the street from me who has a radio show that's fairly popular in our state. She does everything she can to make us feel unwelcome where we live. One victory: She used to vandalize stickers on road signs and buildings, put razor blades undernearth, and then the trans folks and allies put trans stickers over them -- this went on for years. Then I had the idea to put stickers of adorable kittens over her stickers instead, and that put a stop to the sticker war, seemingly for good. It's been almost two years now since we've seen any stickers.

In my late 20s, my metabolism has left the building, and I got my first and hopefully only vericose vein.

I still work at the entry-level job I got out of college where my wages are starting not to cut it, and I haven't gotten a raise in three years. Also starting to think about how I'll retire and whether I'll ever own a home.

It's a bit harder to make friends now, and my existing social circles are starting to drift apart as people move, get married, or have kids.

I'm noticing that I haven't completed nearly as many of the personal aspirations I thought I would have marked off by now.