That sounds like a lot to deal with, and it sounds like you're dealing with it alone. I'm sorry to hear that. I wonder if any of the doctors you are seeing could suggest a support group, or if there are some online you might like. Lemmy seems great (I'm new) but not necessarily super active.

If thinking about getting into a relationship is causing additional stress, it might not be a bad idea to hold off. It is absolutely possible to find a fulfilling relationship with chronic pain/chronic illness, but it's difficult to do so when you're not in a great place mentally.

Have you looked into telehealth/virtual therapy appointments? There's betterhelp, though I don't think they work with insurance, and you might be able to find an in-state provider who would do telehealth. I would advise sending out some emails to providers in your state and seeing who might be open to telehealth.

I wish you all the best. I have many relatives with chronic pain/chronic illness who have been able to find partners who understand. It is possible. For the moment, though I can't imagine how difficult it is, do what you can to help yourself.

Do you have a library card? At my library I can reserve the books I want, and if they don't have them they borrow them from another library in their system, and I get an email when they're ready to be picked up. I also use the app Goodreads to track what I want to read.

If reading physical books is difficult, consider audiobooks as well!

For something sci fi/fantasy but more a serious/intense story:

A Deadly Education / the Scholomance series

Project Hail Mary

For more feel-good sci fi/fantasy:

The House in the Cerulean Sea

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet

Grammar

Veg options I loved:

Cheesy gordita crunch with beans, sub nacho cheese doritos locos taco and creamy jalapeño sauce (quesadilla sauce)

7 later burrito with nacho cheese added

Cheesy fiesta potatoes, add creamy jalapeño sauce and mexican blend cheese

Cheese quesadilla with extra sauce

Nachos and cheese with an additional side of creamy jalapeño sauce

Crunchwrap supreme with beans/bla ck beans

Someone make a community for pics of coffee + books, pls

With friends: D&D or board/card/tabletop games. Pick a night and get together every week or whatever works for everyone. Play the same game or something different each week. Settlers of Catan and Cards Against Humanity are other games that jump to mind for me.

Generally: read, write/paint/draw/model/etc., learn to play an instrument, cook/bake, learn something new via podcast or videos. Most of these things can be done with others if you choose.

I had this exact thing happen in Duolingo. I remember being annoyed, because in school I had learned to say "comment t'appelles-tu" but Duolingo taught me "comment tu t'appelles." Then it seemingly randomly switched back to the original one I knew, like I should have been using that the whole time.

What happened I think, is we left the "s" off of the end, so Duolingo marked it as wrong, but rather than add the "s", it gave a different correction (the more proper way to say it). If you had put the "s" on the end, it would have been accepted as correct.

Meowdy