Certainly is working as intended, as a means to torture us. But I think it’s also intended to have an appearance of being fair, and that part is breaking down. It’s designed for a time when trans people were not allowed to talk with other trans people. Now it turns out that there are several orders of magnitude more of us than were able to get through the gatekeeping in the old days. No gatekeeping system can scale up to the level needed to give all trans people the care they need.

Informed consent is the only humane way forward and the current breakdown of the system makes this the right time to finally demand change.

Rant: I legit had a psychologist ask me why I came out ”so late”. When I was a teenager our country had about a dozen people being allowed to transition per year. A dozen and she wondered why I wasn’t one of them. That’s when gatekeeping was ”working”. It’s a miracle I’m alive after all these years. There were several rules in place to prohibit someone like me from transititioning back then, but I’m like most trans people I meet these days. It’s highly unlikely that you, the one reading this, would have been allowed through.

I knew one but I didn’t speak to him. He came out as bi to my sister and I suspected that he had a thing for me, but I’ve never been into guys and avoided him. Then at uni a gay man tried to get me in bed. This was before I transitioned so, ehm, I guess that I must have had a vibe. I’d like to rant about why we were not open back then but it feels off topic. Wish I had had more positive representation, could’ve avoided spending two decades in hell.

Facial hair gives me dysphoria so I remove that, and I don’t have any shadow left these days. Except for facial hair I’m mysteriously blessed with a typical female body hair pattern, like a lot of other transfems I know (but certainly not everyone). I have less body hair than my sister. But I like body hair on women and don’t shave under my arms or my pubes. Just trim a bit under the arms.

So what are you coming out as?

I met a girl, I got a crush on her, I asked to meet, and she not just agreed to meet up but she dressed up real nice and gave me compliments like I had never heard before (I’m mtf and new to being pretty). And then we had more dates and each one was better than I could ever have conceived it would be. And we have the best chemistry ever, I had no idea that I could be this compatible with someone. Yeah, so uh, I’m in love with her. She says allll the time that I’m beautiful. And she wants to see me again. What could possibly be better. I never had this before in my life.

My (ex-)wife came out as bi after I had been on hrt for a few months. Sadly it didn’t work out but that was for reasons not directly related to my transition.

Are tomboys allowed to play chess? Do I have to wear a skirt and be straight? My psychologist told me I was socialized as a girl, but does that make me eligible to play chess? I have normal thoughts and reactions for a woman and men intimidate me more than you will ever know. Can I please play now? Ugh, you know what, this women’s league stuff is a another example of men making up rules for me again. Count me out.

Love Dax, always felt a connection with the character. I’ve also been both, at least in the way it appeared.

Apple pie! My favourite recipe uses lard, of all things. Really delicious and it works as long as there are no vegetarians. ☺️

Me too! Even though I was a deeply closeted and repressing trans girl in the 90s, I sooo appreciated Sally’s experience of going from living as an alien to living as a woman and discovering womanhood, living together with others who knew her background. It’s even more relatable now that I’ve done it myself.

The things they say they do to protect women, in fact hurt women.

The things they say they do to protect children, in fact hurt children.

The posts at the top of that community made me cry. I’ve never had parents I could talk to like that.