Maybe you should talk to them first instead of wishing for them to pay for help not involving you.

Have done this, not video, but texts. She was horrified and embarrassed and swore it would never happen again. And then it happened...like, thirty more times. So I don't think that'll work unfortunately

I'm a millenial lifelong socialist atheist with gay/trans parents but go off I guess. If you actually read my comment you'd notice that I have nothing against her and instead said she should be paid more so she wouldn't have to go on only fans.

Well I had issues with drinking myself when I was younger and I got through it decently fine. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience yourself but I'm really hoping it doesn't turn out that way here. Though I do know the possibility exists. When she's sober she still says she wants help. As long as she doesn't give up entirely on herself I'm not giving up on her either.

Thank you very much, I wasn't aware of the distinction, I'll look into that. I have been debating calling the national alcohol abuse hotline myself and just seeing if they can give advice on how to deal with this myself.

That was my move tonight yeah. I'm just looking for help on what to do moving forward. I had issues with alcohol myself when I was in my early 20s so I can empathize with what she's going through, and I got through it, so she can too

Neither of us want children and yes I really true love her. I'm not planning on leaving her I just want to help her through this. I know she can do this and I believe in her and I'm not going to give up on her until she gives up on herself. I'd take a bullet for her no second thought.

Yeah she has an appointment with a non religious help group soon, AA would just make it worse for her I know. The thing is when she's sober she really DOES want to get help. And then she gets cravings and she caves and it's always just one but then just one turns into two turns into 6 turns into 12....She hates herself the next morning and it's real regret. She wants help, and she knows she needs it, but she's just struggling with actually going through with cutting everything out

Yeah agree entirely. And we'll pay it for as the years go on. I really don't understand how investing in the future of our country is somehow a partisanship issue. I guess republicans just love inflicting misery more than their so called "patriotism".

Also if you haven't heard the medical term for this yet, it's called dermatillomania, if it helps you to put a name to it.

Not an alcoholic but

I like the taste of alcohol

I drink at home to relax, bars suck, and I don't want to get shitfaced anyway

Weed makes me paranoid and useless apart from going comatose and staring at the ceiling for 4 hours

It's easy to acquire, relatively cheap, and makes you forget about all the other bad shit that might be going on in your life

Stop trying to enjoy Bud or Coors and go for local craft stuff

I feel for what you went through but trying to equate having a need for a secret bank account hidden from your spouse to an uncle stealing funds from a minor is ingenious at best and absolutely laughable at best. There is obviously a difference between the two and if you don't realize that, I assume you must be a little too young to even weigh in. If you feel that unless you have a secret stash of cash you're in physical danger from your spouse then DO NOT MARRY THAT PERSON. it's not that complicated. Marriage isn't a joke or something to lightly go into. It's like saying "I don't trust you enough to not cheat on me so I'm going to keep a side man/woman on the side just in case. What? You don't like that?? That is a chillingly selfish betrayal of trust how dare you!" Just don't get married and merge accounts until you trust the person it's not that complicated, if you don't trust them enough for that, don't get married, simple as.