I'm a big fan of Stephen Kings work. He's deserving of respect as a writer and story teller. Your explanation is reasonable and true in the context of the story.
There is just no way to talk about, write about, discuss, etc, stuff like that, without the air in the room not going still as fuck. All of what you say is true, it's still.... off.
And that book was just a bit too long, but again, great book, great writer, questionable AS FUCK portion.
The French have won more battles than any other military Ever. Look it up, mate. You sound like Fox News Freedom Fries. Break free man.