first of all, there appears to be a fork of Cantata (which is still my music player of choice as well) that is still getting updates (maintained by a one nullobsi), if you're on Arch, it's available on the AUR as cantata-qt6
my current fallback option for local music playback is fooyin, I don't know for certain whether it checks all of your boxes at the moment, but it is still very much in active development
I also use jellyfinmediaplayer for music on my jellyfin server, but that doesn't have lyric support (unfortunately)

I flunked my gender test so hard that I ended up getting an F

Asexual =/= aromantic. Your character can be asexual and still be romantically attracted to people

I'm personally fond of Sway and Kitty

I still love my Pebble smartwatches, and of them I prefer the Pebble Time Steel. It still lasts like at least a week on a single charge.

Conglaturations on the new job!

yep, you got it! Nice to see that there's more than just one fan of Iconoclasts out here in the Fediverse!

Local unlicensed mechanic fights God

I buy my music on BandCamp when I can and physical when I can. I prefer to buy albums on CD, other than Dungeon Synth music (which I prefer to buy on cassette for the sake of consistency). I do also own a number of albums on vinyl and/or cassette, most of the time because it is the only format I can get a physical copy in. I keep digital copies of all my music in FLAC format both on my desktop and on my jellyfin server.

I'm kinda surprised that you didn't go for a spacebar joke/pun

I mostly use Arch Linux, as the customizability and package selection is excellent.
On the rare occasion I need to use a piece of software that doesn't play nicely with Linux (even with Wine/Proton), I boot up onto a secondary drive that has Windows 10 installed on it.