My little spider friend helped a tough combat end in hilarity.

We're at the tail end of the Drow civil war, and in order to reach the upper district, we had to teleport into a Drow household, which required me to be wearing a Drow matron's ring, which among other things still contains her soul. She does not like us, does not like the daughter we worked with to see her dead, and would take over my body (Or try to) if I attuned it.

As we go through the house and are trying to leave, we are intercepted by some house guards, some Daegoloth, and finally the second daughter of the house who is pissed off and confused as to how and why we are there.

Things are a bit rough for our Rogue and Fighter, but we pull through. But in the last round of the combat, the daughter starts losing it and screams asking where her mother is.

I show her the ring, try and make vague talk about one of the sisters I am not working with, and she just starts losing it Azula style and sicks her remaining guards specifically on me at any cost.

One get's stabbed in the ass by our Rogue, dealing 50 piercing and lightning damage to him without even needing a crit and killing him

The next comes for me but eats an Attack of Opportunity from the Barbarian, which lops off his legs and he bleeds out.

Then the daughter throughs out her best direct damage option at me...a 5th level Ray of Sickness, but thanks to my hidden spider buddy, I am immune to it, and her last moments are her looking down to see the Rogue got her with an Attack of Opportunity and she has a chunk missing from her torso.

The last enemy, the House Captain with 4hp left, looks at our kobold fighter, say's he's just going to just leave, doesn't disengage and a crit from the fighter turns him into a large splatter on the wall.

This poor fella's job as lieutenant was to just counterspell any mages and healers while his captain brother fought the barbarian and the fighter.

He proceeded to see the warlock burn his smaller regiment, turn into an angel and ignore any and all poisons used against him. When he got his sudden promotion, he figured best to just survive.

In the ongoing Drow Civil War, our group got a big win by taking down the colossal Spider golem (After it had been softened up by a few World Serpent Spawn), and among it's wreckage was one of it's massive eyes, an arcane charged amethyst.

Considering we're in a war, my craftsman Celestial Warlock thought along the lines of using it to make a rather big bomb. But as he began to plan, his other personalities calmed him, reminding him that making WMDs is kind of against our religion, causing the one currently in control of the body to take a moment to reflect on how he'd gotten over the week of war.

Beseeching their god patron for aid, he wanted aid in making proper use of the massive gem, and with that bit of divine aid, the Fabricate spell (Which I have as a patron spell to fit having an inventor god patron), and permanently sacrificing one of my three spell slots (As well as a sorta not great but not absolutely terrible roll), I have this little spooder on my shoulder.

The War against the Drow continues

This countess didn't appreciate me yeeting a psychic grenade at her before she could monologue. Her warriors preceded to cast Darkness on the bridge we were at and she teleported with three Shadow Demons before taking me to full health to 0 (Though I stayed up thanks to Gift of the Protectors).

But unfortunately, she could not shake the Synaptic Static debuff and didn't really accomplish much after that before trying to run. If not for the fact Dimension Door has a size limit (Which I hadn't realized until my DM remembered), I'd have teleported over the giant kobold Rune Knight, but settled for bringing the Rogue over to finish her

Our party has opened war on the Drow capital city, with a rag tag army of Moon Warriors, Pirates looking to make a name for themselves, Forest Rangers, and our not quite stable party of an Eladrin Warlock with multiple personalities, a half orc barbarian with Wonder Woman's tiara, a panther-halfling hybrid rogue, a Giant Powered Kobold, and a Yuan-ti/Gobling hybrid Bard against the forces of the Drow Nation. Numbers are not in our favor, especially as our allies from the Wizard City can't arrive until we destroy the giant spider golem the city has.

Combat is rough, so our party's opening gambit...is to throw out an egg in the center of the city that becomes a gargantuan Spawn of the World Serpent, then run back to our battle. It spawns with only the golem between it and the Arcane Academy, and next to a giant spider nest spawning giant demon spiders once a day.

The first couple days are a bit rough as the tide of battle is not with us, and the serpent, while destroying a large area of downtown, is taking a lot of damage and missing it's attacks on the mechanical and demonic spiders...

So we throw two more eggs into the mess, and continue on with our battle as the Pirates manage to reach us where our part of the army had come up from the underground, the eastern front is still rough but sorta even, and the center of town has had a kaijuu battle going for half a week now.

Not a huge achievement, but I went the whole battle with relatively minimal resource usage

So in today's session my group set out to what may be the final battle of the campaign, a war to dethrone a Drow Matron. Given my character, an Eladrin with multiple personalities (One for each season) does not need a full 8 hours for a long rest, I set out in the middle of the night for each of them to make a prayer to a god before we then gave a final prayer to our celestial patron.

Spring gave prayer to the Elven God of War and Order, and was surprised that we ended up with a Chainbreaker Scimitar (A +1 Scimitar that also gives advantage to break chains, manacles and similar bindings, and such things are vulnerable to it's damage).

Summer gave a prayer to the church of Macho Man Randy Savage, and made friends with the cleric on duty.

Autumn gave prayer to the trickster Gnome god, getting a flute and well wishes from the nice old lady at the temple.

And Winter gave prayer to the dwarven god of War, getting a one use blessing that gives the target a lot of boons for a minute).

Then on our second day at sea with pirate friends, en route to war, my character decides to play the flute for their girlfriend.

Then the DM asked me what my spell save DC was and rolled a wisdom save...

So I have learned I have a flute that casts confusion centered on me (I am immune) as long as I play it (Once something makes the save or has the spell end on it, it's immune for a day)

Our party has been investigating the Church of the Macho One (aka the Church of Randy Savage), which is our Paladin's Church, after receiving information of a demon that our paladin ticked off a long time back, had been influencing things and may be linked to the death of the previous head of the church.

After a short investigation, dispelling an illusion of the Paladin's parents, and checking the guard records, the captain of the church guard drops his cover and attacks us and the new Macho Pope. However, as the Captain screamed his head off as the lair actions triggered, I, being closest to her, noticed odd whispers around the Macho Pope.

Turns out she was the demon in question under Shapechange. The fight dragged on and we had a couple close calls, with the Paladin having to counterspell a Power Word Kill, the Rogue avoiding being plane shifted to the Abyss, and the Bard dropping a Fire Storm from her instrument to take out the guard captain.

The Demon, a powered up Marilith, was drawing power from a gem that she had captured holy souls in, which lead my Warlock to take the initiative in summoning an Arisen Nightmare (A celestial Nightmare with all it's Fire replaced with Radiant) and gave him the duty of breaking the gem. Overall he only got one hit in on he because he missed his others, but that one hit was a crit with most of the damage being Bludgeoning, which the gem was vulnerable to.

The party followed suit, including the Barbarian who was grappled in the Marilith's coils and eating a lot of damage herself, but managed one last crit on the Gem, which shattered it and caused 85d6 Radiant to both her and the Demon, ending the fight and us having to quick Revivify the Barbarian.

We're getting close to a climax of our campaign, and we needed to get to the City of Temples. The issue is that the City of Temples does not have a permanent teleportation circle, under the belief that it should be some level of a pilgrimage.

The issue comes from the problem that the three closest cities to it are the Human Capital (Where the Queen, secretly controlled by a space rock from before time modeled after the Yellow Diamond, has had our paladin wanted in the past), the neutral City of Tomorrow (Which we fled after a fight with a devil assassin caused a lot of collateral damage) and the main port for the Human Empire (See above)

So with the port being our best option (Outside of my own suggestion of seeing if we can get transport from a Hag we know, but we're unsure the cost on that), our Paladin attuned his long unused Hat of Disguise, agreed on the fake name Virunus.

Upon arriving at the port, I give my usual nickname as my name, the guard remarks it's a short name for an elf and I say I just got back from the Feywilds (True) and am working on getting it all back (Not entirely false, but not true). After a short bit of back and forth, my young-ish elf (20 years since birth as a human, less than six months since I was reincarnated as an Eladrin, but I also spent 700 years in the Astral sea, so toss up which number counts), treating the 47 year old guard as a young fellow, and saying he can call me auntie. This and a joke from our Halfling, had the guard now being scared I am some level of actual fey, if not an outright hag.

The halfling and his goblin fiance who is disguised as a halfling give normal fake names without issue.

The half orc signs with a rough scrawl of a bear, and it's accepted relatively easily

But then the Paladin signs as Sir Virunus. Then when questioned if he's a knight of some sort, he backs down to erase the Sir upon questioning. This, of course, was sus as heck, which leads to them sending a navy captain to talk to us as we are getting horses, which leads to...further issues >.>

Tonight in D&D: We preside over a peace talk between Dwarves and Shadar-Kai, I tell one ~~Evil~~ Morally Questionable pair of lesbians about another pair of ~~Evil~~ Morally Questionable pair of lesbians they can be friends with, and the possible benefits of said friendship.

We learn that the old Pope of Macho Man Randy Savage, who we thought was alive but in containment after being mind controlled by the Yellow Diamond, is actually dead and the current Pope of Macho Man Randy Savage is either controlled by, possessed by or working for an Arch Demon. Said new Macho Pope is also possibly the reason the followers of Macho Man Randy Savage are having trouble with their powers, and is not only in control of our Paladin's family fund but may have killed his parents, who were also supposed to be in containment.

This brings about long term effects of my original character, a Tabaxi Rogue, keeping a magic book out of the hands of a Tiefling Warlock Mob Boss (Who was the cousin of our Paladin), it falling into the hands of a party member who became a servant of this archdemon, dying and the archdemon getting a vendetta against out paladin.

And as the day comes to an end, my Eladrin's spring personality keeps from screaming, goes to her room with a drink, says a prayer and just spends time with her familiar.

This week our group engaged a group of devil worshiping centaurs and a Bone Devil they had summoned who had escaped us a couple weeks ago.

My warlock kept out of range of most of them by dint of riding a special Figurine of Power that is an Arisen Nightmare (a Celestial Nightmare, just replace Fire with Radiant, give it wings and take away the Ethereal Step ability), most of our group had Fly on them and the Bone Devil went down quick because of a Holy Avenger crit from the paladin.

After that though, with civilians of the herd starting to sacrifice themselves to the blood pond, the paladin (Of Redemption, afraid of losing his oath) and the rogue (Not wanting to kill kids) tried to talk things down. The dark priestess was hearing none of it and just wanted us dead.

Pretty soon four adults and a child had unalived themselves into the now black and bubbling pool, the priestess was dead and growing into some sort of gnarly tree, and our barbarian half orc was dead. The rest of the group started to flee, but my Warlock had a couple remaining desperate attempts in that I had a couple of scrolls of Guiding Bolt in my pocket.

With a prayer to the Sun God and the Nature Goddess, my DM allowed me the first try and after a religion check, a damage roll and a D100, a bit of the pond purified, but that didn't last long and top of the next round, a visage of the Archdevil of the Fourth Circle came up, anointed a new priestess, inflicted fear on our bard and my steed (They were the only others in range and I passed the saving throw) and slumped back into the pond.

My steed, frightened, used it's next action to dash the fuck out and the Bard did the same. The steed carried me a good distance before passing his fear check to break it, and we decided we had to do something about it, even as the rest of the group was hauling ass to both get away and get the Barbarian revived.

The steed swiftly carried me back to the spot we had just been and joined me in prayer, adding the God of Protection and Goddess of Justice on his end, and with another religion check, a damage roll and a D100, the pond was wholly purified, if only for a moment, before evaporating, leaving behind a red stained crater, and a momentary visage of a devil who's summoning we'd apparently interrupted and who got a good look at me before fading back to the Hells

Blood Pond image clipped from - https://www.deviantart.com/skvor/art/Dark-Pond-635218185 Trident Throw clipped from video "Myth's Bad End"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euPfAilSpuU