I love how this chart is going to update every year.

So based on other comments here:

1. Bathe the brisket in copious brine.
2. Place in an oven on low heat on timer for 300 years.
3. Ensure that during this time the brisket is pounded by gamma radiation continuously.

Panel 3 was pulled off so well, I actually felt a bit warm and fuzzy before panel 4.

Terry Pratchett is pretty much the Tolkien of flat earth literature.

Edit: give me 100 upvotes and that will satisfy me more than 2k on Reddit.

Edit 2: AWESOME!

From my elementary knowledge of chemistry:

I had to go looking for Mercury and Lead and sure enough they look about right.

Column 1 reacts with water so you bet that'll hurt. Hydrogen needs a boost to start reacting with oxygen so no naked flame is recommended.

Anything in column 7 are desperate to rip electrons away from molecules so yes, permanent damage to your tongue and mouth.

Uranium is alright if you lick it once. A guy ate uranium cake once on TV.

The 'Please reconsider' lot seem to be a good way to die a horrible death by radiation.

Tc I believe is technetium which is radioactive and emits gamma rays, perhaps not soluable so stays in your body and you become gamma-man.

This comic almost has an xkcd flavour to it.

It got on the news. They sacrificed their jobs for that at least.

Presumably one can still set default in settings. I'm not giving up Firefox yet.

What a fucking shit educator: 'Once a thief always a thief.' Humiliating a student in front of the class.

If I was the principal I would have them fired, or at least suspended.

I always love seeing this comic here and there and thinking back to the original infamous question posed by many commenters: "what's up with the eye not on their head?"

Holy shit it's on the money

A broken record.

I'll see myself out.