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[-] cmbabul@lemmy.world 48 points 9 months ago

I used to be a huge advocate for “boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time”, but now that I have a bidet at home, I would just as soon die that shit at the office. I’ll hold it until I get to a place where I can clean my asshole properly after

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 42 points 9 months ago
[-] Palerider@feddit.uk 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Home is where ~~the heart is~~ ~~you poop most comfortably~~ you go when the Pub shuts.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

home is where you poop most comportably

[-] Dindonmasker@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago

Two words. Portable bidet. I have one everywhere i poop often and one to take with me for longer trips. They're good and cheap so why not.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

So you take an apparatus with you every time you use the bathroom away from home? I'm not judging, I'm just genuinely curious about how that works

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

They are small. It's like taking a phone around with you. For me they are not sufficient as a TP substitute but as an adjunct. I am partial to the Toto motorized one.

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

What about splashback? Do they need to be cleaned? How does one transport them? I love bidets, but I'd feel icky tossing a portable one in a backpack along with my lunch...

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

Keeps in a bag. Propels stream at an angle and waste water falls vertically down, so it's not getting directly bathed in waste. It folds up and tip is concealed. I just wipe down tip with some TP.

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

Sounds intriguing! I might look into getting one.

[-] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 1 points 9 months ago

It goes on the rim and hangs inside the toilet bowl, right? That thing is festering with shit particles if so.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

No. Look up portable bidets. Many options but I don't think any are like that

[-] peanuts4life 4 points 9 months ago

I've never in my life been a baby wipe user... Untill I got a bidet at home. Now I stock work with them just so I can clock those work hours.

[-] cmbabul@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

They are really bad for pipes, and I don’t give a fuck about my employers pocket book, but I don’t want the poor custodial staff of the building to have to unclog pipes because of my asshole.

[-] space@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

Use baby wipes. They work pretty good.

[-] CraigeryTheKid@lemm.ee 15 points 9 months ago

Ok, so I get the meme/reference - but I can't relate at all and need to ask. Is this a real thing?

I started drinking coffee only 5-6 years ago, have 2-3 cups in the morning. Sometimes nothing else, sometimes a little food. I have NEVER had to "run to the bathroom" due to coffee. Except to pee all the water out.

Am I broken?

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Once that cup is done I will definitely need access to a bathroom within the next hour or so. I've never had to "run" to the bathroom, but it does become quite... persistent after that

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

It's a laxative for most people but apparently not all.

[-] rustydomino@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

I assume you’re younger. It didn’t happen for me until after 40.

[-] CraigeryTheKid@lemm.ee 5 points 9 months ago

I am 42M. Started drinking at 35. (Coffee)

[-] rustydomino@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Well im that case you’re either lucky or unlucky depending whether inducing poop in the morning is good or bad.

[-] Johanno@feddit.de 1 points 9 months ago

I don't like coffee so I usually drink about one or two cups a day (when I am at work and don't wfh because the coffee is free) and I never had any problems with it.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

if I ever drink coffee or anything with caffeine and I'm not really active after drinking it - I'll need the bathroom within an hour or so. If I'm active I've noticed this doesn't happen, though I don't drink caffeine often so it could be a coincidence.

[-] Fudoshin@feddit.uk 12 points 9 months ago

He wasn't very powerful. All he did was make his staff flash and set off some fireworks.

He says he killed a balrog, but can we be certain?

Gandalf is a conjurer and nothing more.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

His love of the halflings' leaf has made his memory unreliable too.

[-] HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

"The great storm is coming, but the tide has turned."

[-] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 3 points 9 months ago

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 9 points 9 months ago

Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks

Surrender, but don't give yourself away.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 9 months ago

The world has changed... I smell it in the air.

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Black coffee and figs for breakfast.

this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
624 points (100.0% liked)

Lord of the memes

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