460
submitted 9 months ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/gaming@lemmy.world
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[-] ech@lemm.ee 154 points 9 months ago

Turns out every game sounds bad if you purposefully describe it badly.

[-] agressivelyPassive@feddit.de 43 points 9 months ago

I mean, this is the essence of 95% of GTA missions. Just like 95% of RPG missions are a variation of clear dungeon, kill boss, retrieve item.

[-] fidodo@lemmy.world 54 points 9 months ago

Platformers are just running and jumping towards the right and repeating.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago

Old school ones. Anything half modern lets you go left as well.

[-] fidodo@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

But the goal is always to the right (counting metroidvanias as their own genre)

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Not really. Super Meat Boy is a platformer and definitely isn't always to the right.

[-] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Same thing with i want to be that guy

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

super metroid final boss is left

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 2 points 9 months ago

Super Mario's boss is right.

Both sides are equally bad.

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[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 19 points 9 months ago

"clear dungeons, kill boss, retrieve item" is just "go from a to b, kill x at b, go from b to c"

[-] Lmaydev@programming.dev 13 points 9 months ago

The key is making the dungeon/boss fun. The quests are just to lead you through the content.

If you don't like fighting through dungeons and fighting bosses then the game may not be for you.

Like with GTA getting to places needs to be enjoyable.

[-] ech@lemm.ee 5 points 9 months ago

And taking out 99% of the rest of the game built around the basic skeleton structure makes it sound bleak and boring.

[-] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 8 points 9 months ago

Start game
Make number go up
Become better at making number go up
Make number go up more

Somehow almost every game ever made

[-] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 3 points 9 months ago

https://xkcd.com/722/

Hmm, reminds me of Hollywood hackers.

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[-] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 99 points 9 months ago

This is every game for the people that skip dialog and cutscenes.

Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding. I don't get that TV show, nothing had any context and there was no motivation or lessons to learn, stuff just randomly exploded from being shot at.

[-] otp@sh.itjust.works 32 points 9 months ago

Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding

The Office would be pretty short

[-] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Even the most shooty->explodey TV show there is would be pretty short if you skipped all the good parts.

[-] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 2 points 9 months ago

Independence Day.

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[-] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 53 points 9 months ago

85% of my time in GTA is spent driving like a jackass for fun.

[-] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Username reminds me of a Bash.org quote:

#265532 + (6778) - [X]

SABDO: on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.

SABDO: and it typed out "France"

SABDO: we were like, wtf?

Bash.org Archive

Edit: I think I commented on the incorrect comment. Oh well.

[-] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

So glad Bash.org got archived!

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

There's an archive?! My life just got a lot better.

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[-] fartsparkles@sh.itjust.works 41 points 9 months ago

Pretty sure Minecraft was the most profitable game of all time.

And you can be that reductive for pretty much all games. Run right and jump on mushrooms. Watch shapes rotate and fall. Punch cubes. Three of the other most profitable games of all time.

[-] ech@lemm.ee 22 points 9 months ago

Minecraft is the highest selling game (beating out GTA V by 110 million units sold source), but it's not the most profitable. GTA does have it beat there ($9.9 billion vs $3.3 billion). Though CoD has them both beat at $31 billion (source).

[-] havokdj@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

CoD as a FRANCHISE beats them both, but you have to keep in mind that metric for GTA V and Minecraft are indeed, for single video games.

[-] ech@lemm.ee 14 points 9 months ago

That's true (to be even more precise, the GTA metric is also for the franchise...which GTAV makes up $8.5 billion of >.>). How about Candy Crush at $20 billion?

[-] MadBob@feddit.nl 35 points 9 months ago

"This game named after a crime involving cars involves too much driving and crime"

[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

start game

go from A to B

press button/scan object

go from B to C

solve 3rd grade puzzle

go from C to D

scan object and defend while npc does things

optionally sneak from D to E

repeat until the game is over

And the best part is, I'm sure nobody even knows what game I'm talking about, but they think they might have it narrowed to 3 or 4.

Some of my favorite games on the planet are literally "wander around opening doors" and "go to a place to solve simple puzzles, press some buttons, and don't die"

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It's literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.

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[-] howrar@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

It's Tetris, right? It's gotta be Tetris.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

live in point A

something calls someone away to point B

in order to change it back they have to sacrifice something important

return to point A

they are changed as well

and the best part nobody even knows which story I'm talking about

[-] FractalsInfinite@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

Every story boils down to a hero's journey.

[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Star Trek Online is what comes to mind immediately for me

[-] vox@sopuli.xyz 2 points 9 months ago

watch dogs comes to mind first, just because of the 3rd grade puzzle part

[-] Cratermaker@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 9 months ago

I was gonna say it couldn't be Hunt Showdown, but it actually fits pretty well, minus the friendly NPC. Start game, collect clues, fight the boss, wait for the banish and try to defend, then take the boss token to the extract, all while trying not to die from enemy players. Of course the enemy players make it exciting, and I guess that's why I'm not that into single player games.

How else can you create a good player experience while not alienating casual players though?

[-] SchizoDenji@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Minesweeper? Spider solaitre?

[-] PaulieDied@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

At least Vice City had fun missions like dropping bombs in trashcans with the world’s most fickle RC helicopters

[-] pfannkuchen_gesicht@lemmy.one 6 points 9 months ago

"fun"... yeah, not exactly a word I'd use to describe that mission.

[-] otp@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

Not sure if they fixed it in the PC port, but I enjoyed it when I played it last. I think I failed the mission only once, if at all?

I imagine they reduced the number of enemies or their aggro range, or raised the timer by a ton

[-] BassaForte@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

L take. GTA5 is a solid game. Never cared for online tho

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.

Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That's why it's number 1. It's also why you're murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it's a titty bar.

[-] lud@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago

I don't understand why anyone would want to travel between point A and B and point B and A. Can't they just make up their mind about where they want to be?

I just want to live at point D and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E

[-] 4grams@awful.systems 13 points 9 months ago

Hate to say it, but it’s because it’s fun. I haven’t played in ages but despite it not being my kind of game (I’m usually a fallout kind of guy), I really loved playing through it. I enjoyed it enough that when the next one comes out, I’ll likely finally buy a current gen console.

[-] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 9 months ago

So instead you like going on a mission, getting distracted and killing a bunch of people/ghouls/irradiated creatures and managing inventory ( I do too).

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[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 12 points 9 months ago

You've just described nearly all action, adventure, and shooter games.

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago
[-] jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social 2 points 9 months ago

Sir the rest of us were ignoring the mission trying to see how many cops could chase us at once and also how many of them we could murder when we let them catch up. Then they went online with it and people started wearing the game like a suit.

That may explain things.

[-] jose1324@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Facts. Boring as fuck

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this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
460 points (100.0% liked)

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