1025
They wish
(lemmy.ml)
Patch notes: clause unnecessary. Refactored to cover the general case.
Person doesn't want to date person with OF
Person with OF doesn't want to date person
It seems the universe is in harmony.
If you think about, this makes the most sense. A person with an OF is getting their rocks off without other people present most of the time. Unless they are doing content with someone who enjoys making stuff too. But I think the majority of content creators are solo ventures.
In that most common scenario you would have a person not comfortable making content dating someone who does. That relationship is going to end eventually when OF creator is getting their sexual needs met and the SO isn't getting enough attention to satisfy their needs.
But of course there will always be outliers like asexual people or having opposite libidos. Which those situations might work great to have an OF side gig.
But if we are talking the majority or people, I think its safe to say one OF creator dating a non-OF creator is probably not very likely.
Relationships typically involve more than just sex.
OF content creators date non-creators all the time, just like other sex workers. There's more to relationships than sex, and content creation isn't the same thing as actual sexual intimacy and connection
What about a guy with an onlyfans?
So ive put a lot of thot into this, and after going through what I did with my ex wife, I think it wouldn't be a problem so long as
A. I know about it.
B. I get access to it and all paid content
C. No one else appears in it. This covers the whole "well that was an old video I uploaded" scenario too.
D. The relationship is otherwise secure.
E. But the real problem would be someone with an onlyfans wanting to date me.
It's fine to not want to date someone with an onlyfans, but I feel like the guys who go out of their way to say it usually have other red flags about
Basically men who: —
Could never get a woman that hot
Get jealous easily
Don't like women having agency over their sexuality
Don't like women having agency over themselves full stop
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I just ask that people realize what I realize, which is it's an issue with ME that I'm not secure enough to be with a person who I can see having sex with someone else. I cannot control my feelings but I am responsible for them, or at the very least, other people are not responsible for them(at least in this example anyway it's not as if the of model was having sex with other people AT me.)
It's ok to be monogamous :)
Oh absolutely, I dont feel bad about that. But the feeling I get thinking about being with someone who does that kind of stuff is exactly a feeling of insecurity. It's fine and normal, same way its normal to have a little anxiety or a little depression. In healthy doses it's essentially just personality traits, but to me those feeling stem from insecurity. Perhaps it's even innate and not something to be 'fixed' but it still feels like insecurity to me. But I'm realizing that I suppose I can only speak for myself here.
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Ehehehehee, a lot of thot. Nice.
C and E sound indicative of some insecurities.
Ah yes, be 100% ok with sharing your partner, or you're insecure.
Right. Some people handle this well, others are not open to it. Willingness to adhere to monogamy is a thing that varies from person to person and must be discussed in any relationship. Ethical nonmonogamy is a thing, but it's not for everyone, and it is a lot of communication and intimate work.
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I said, "indicative of", not, "yea you're insecure". Amazing how you children cannot parse basic perception from accusation.
Braindead comments are indicative of massive cerebral trauma.
I mean, I wouldn't want to deal with the mental gymnastics involved with my significant other getting down with other people
I think they were reacting to the "no one can appear even if it was an old video before we met" part.
I mean, there's still mental gymnastics going on there. For me at least
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Yes, but the vast majority of us do have some insecurities and you can at least be honest with yourself and your partner about them.
Agreed, but know what they are. They aren't lines to control someone with. They're lines someone should agree with and should know may be signs of other controlling behavior. So many people are OK with being controlled and it's frankly pathetic.
Ha, C&E are actually relationship needs of mine, friend.
In fact, I think the others are more indicative of my insecurities, but hey, I'm not anxious-avoidant so I don't know for sure.
If you're dealing with the boundaries healthily, then it's not so much an insecurity and more of a limitation. If others are aware and OK with it, I'd call that healthily dealt with. Whether or not the limitation is a problem is merely a matter of preference, and luckily it sounds like yours line up.
I love how everyone assumes "indicative of" is a direct accusation... As if false red flags based on perception do not exist. People are so small minded.
Im someone for whom C is a necessity like the person you're responding too and I think you're 100% right.
It may not be a nessesarily pathological insecurity, but it absolutely is an insecurity.
If I felt more secure I'd probably be able to deal with it. I don't think that means im a necessarily insecure person, or am someone for whom insecurity is a clinical problem, but at least comparatively that makes it an insecurity.
You can get depressed and not have depression, you can get insecure and not be an insecure person, heck you can even maintain a healthy amount of anxiety. These are essentially just human traits and there's no shame in admitting that I have a trait that's at least a little rooted in insecurity so long as it doesn't negatively impact my life.
I wouldn't mind C, so long as it's someone where all 3 of us are willing to have some fun together privately anyway
A gal with a decent income!? Sign me up!
Yeah if you consider $100-$180 a month "decent income"
The market is extremely saturated. I'm willing to bet most people could make more reliable money doing door dash
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Honestly I wouldn’t care too much it’s the weirdos who would harass her that would make me not like it.
Yeah, the drama that comes with it is probably the biggest issue -- it will occupy some part of your cognitive energy.
I've dated a couple hot chicks back before OF and cam sites were mainstream, and honestly it's tedious if you aren't equally attractive. I wouldn't have dated them if I wasn't confident in the relationship but it's still tedious when dudes will walk right up to yall and hit on her in front of her when you're obviously together.
It's probably not something that'd be a problem now that I'm in my 30s, but I wouldn't know cause I don't get dates these days anyway 😂
always the "no revenues guys" who drop the first line
I hung out with my incel nephew and his friends. They went on and on about phoney girls with fake boobs.
When I asked if any of them ever touched a "fake boob" before, the silence. Then the "Are any of you dating?" And yep, all I needed to know about them.
Yes. Girl does not have to be a superstart to send pics on OnlyFans and similar. Fetishes exists, she can show feet and have ugly face.
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this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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