Also, the Jewish God and Muslim Allah are on the International Space Station.
God: All knowing and all powerful But wait, satellites, oh no!
Bulletproof logic
National Association of Satan's Atheists, or NASA.
"Satellites block God's ability to watch us"
The omniscient, omnipotent god is defeated by a piece of space trash? What a rip-off.
Same God that 'decided' a year shouldn't land on a whole day. Threw in that .25 for shits and giggles.
This is the right amount of crazy that I'm not sure if it's honest or parody for this country.
Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he's in my heart, checkmate atheists.
Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.
This is the right amount of crazy to accidentally become real.
Isn't God supposed to be all-powerful and omnipotent?
That should tell you just how serious this issue with satellites is...
Satan wins again. At this point the Christians have to admit they chose the losing side.
I mean this God of theirs is shit, can't even get around satellites, didn't think humans might beat their cocks raw despite seeing it constantly in Human 1.0 (Chimps), or that they might eat fish on a Tuesday or whatever. Even Jesus was fucking a whore and he was God incarnate.
Also God invented Cancer.
Evel
All prayers are being converted to "bring back Evel Knievel." We really want him back.
This is either (1) satire, (2) trolling, or (3) someone who has no real grasp of Christianity. Or some combination of the above.
(4) Protestants doing an unholy amalgamation of Catholic spirituality and Rational Scientific Inquiry to reach absurdist conclusions at their intersection.
All those prayers from soccer fans for their team to win the World Cup were being intercepted all along 😥
I kind of hope it's real. Down that path at some point they'll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it's a win for the rest of us.
Ok everyone stop upvoting and downvoting. We’ve reached the perfect score.
That sounds like the story of those Christians who were afraid of lightning rods because it might interfere with their God's ability to punish people by lightning.
It's a good job they haven't heard of ceilings yet. 😅
The Jews TM are using iron dome to shoot down christian prayers before they reach heaven.
Is this a parody account? It's impossible to tell anymore.
Let's detonate the moon since it's the biggest satellite
I did the research. It is satire. They wished everyone a Merry Eaglemas this week.
This is a funny one.
I don't know what's real anymore...
I honestly have no idea if this is satire and I'm afraid of the answer
Just imagine Jesus up in space bouncing from satellite to satellite getting all pissed off cause he just wants to get to earth and get this second coming shit over with so he can go back to heaven and bang some angels.
Since when does God live in space? He lives in the cloud since the people who invented christianity where morrons who didn't know any better like Everyone in that time period. So now suddenly they accepted space and that God moved over there over 2000+ years living in the clouds, on a planet that is millions of years old.
Special people.
He lives in the cloud?
No wonder he always seems to need money. His AWS bills must be enormous.
it's all part of the con. god doesn't have an aws bill. incoming traffic is null-routed, as god doesn't give a shit and never responds; and senders pay their own bandwidth.
I want what this guy smoking. Their angels need to go flight school again.
They say as they post from a mobile device providing internet connection via a satellite.
Wait, really? I just assumed it went from my phone to the tower, and then all solid wires from there.
Generally, you use the radio network from mobile phone to cell tower, and then fibre optic to the switches. Sometimes they use microwave line of sight for surface-to-surface connections where fibre doesn't make sense, or is unviable (terrain, distance, cost, difficulty of laying fibre, etc.). It's possible that there could be a satellite connection in the process, but unlikely unless you're on an airplane, a ship, etc.
The GPS on the mobile phone definitely does use satellite (receive only though, no transmit).
It isn't a coincidence that's lemmy is keeping the upvote number at the "mark of the beast".
We need to ban prayer to prevent Kessler syndrome!
Conveniently forgetting the "God exists within all of us" schpiel that they made up as soon as we went to space and found nothing there.
Definitely either parody or very stupid.
So NASA is using the Jewish space lasers to destroy prayers? Those heathens!
Are you sure you are listening on the right wave band? God has moved to the 2.3GHz L-band allocated for DAB.
I mean, yeah, NASA found a way to literally stop god's power, and they keep it to themselves.
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