572
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 151 points 10 months ago

I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed

[-] Sprucie@feddit.uk 122 points 10 months ago

If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 55 points 10 months ago

Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.

Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.

[-] MJKee9@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Rubbing soap on any part of your body in a way that simulates sex is not "safe".... Especially if that area is your junk.

Edit: when you make a comment of which you can speak on with authority and then a bunch downvotes come because it offended someone's hypothetical ideal. You guys are worse than /r/the_donald.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 47 points 10 months ago
[-] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

If you had to ask Satan's already won.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago

I don't see how masturbating with soap has any increased risk of soap in the urethra than normal washing. Especially when you wash yourself everyday. It would also matter on how often you do it. If you're jerking it with soap every time you jerk it yeah you increase the likelihood but if it's a once in a while thing it would be a negligible increase in odds.

I can't believe I just put that much thought into jerking it with soap.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 50 points 10 months ago

Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.

We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.

Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

[-] MadBob@feddit.nl 12 points 10 months ago

Would you mind choosing a verb other than "use" so I know what in God's name I shouldn't be doing with conditioner?

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

If the context didn't provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago

If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

I've covered that aspect already in other comment chains.

Also this picture is clearly a joke. You wouldn't be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly. You'd have to lather your hands first using either bar or liquid soap.

Yeah jamming your dick into a solid bar of soap is gonna cause a lot of issues. The one I'd imagine being the first to worry about is your dick getting bruised cause bar soap ain't exactly soft

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

What if you make the hole and then soapy fidget spinner?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] scottywh@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Draegur@lemm.ee 127 points 10 months ago

Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.

"Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body" that's what this whiny bitch sounds like.

No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.

[-] FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

"yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?"

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Shayeta@feddit.de 86 points 10 months ago

Hey, at least you can be sure it's clean.

[-] EyIchFragDochNur@feddit.de 66 points 10 months ago

Because real men wait until marriage to masturbate

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 25 points 10 months ago

I mean, it just never occured to me to drill a hole in a bar of soap, lotion and Palmela Handerson work just fine.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

That's funny. We say Manuela in Spanish because "mano" means hand

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MrGG@lemmy.ca 64 points 10 months ago

He'd end up disappointed that her pussy doesn't bubble during sex, anyway.

[-] the_joeba@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago
[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

Whoever your point of reference is, tell them to go to the doctor.

[-] And009@reddthat.com 24 points 10 months ago
load more comments (5 replies)
[-] Pinklink@lemm.ee 35 points 10 months ago

That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 32 points 10 months ago
[-] pigup@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago
[-] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 months ago

What a terrible day to have eyes

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] 100_percent_a_bot@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago

“It's a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

How else are you suppose to clean it?

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago

Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.

[-] icerunner_origin@startrek.website 14 points 10 months ago

If you're all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?

[-] Introversion@kbin.social 9 points 10 months ago

Perhaps he’s Ferengi?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 22 points 10 months ago

Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

I didn't know that was an option.

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Chill he was just blowing bubbles

[-] johker216@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

He also knows Bubbles? Small world!

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] art@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

At least it's clean.

[-] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Innocent, I'm not that big.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] BuffLemmyworlder@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

His penis will burn from that

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Soap on a rope, but slipped off the rope?

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 14 points 10 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] kttnpunk@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Poor dude probably just dug out the prize lol

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Shadywack@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

There was a head out alright.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
572 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26615 readers
3046 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS