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[-] flumph@programming.dev 338 points 11 months ago

These people don't even read their own literature. The Catholic church's ban on alchemy is about falsely claiming something is a valuable metal in order to pay for debts. It has nothing to do with the occult -- the ban was because it's a sin to lie / cheat / steal. A saint is even on record saying that alchemical gold is ok if the end if product is real gold.

With that context, of course God doesn't give a shit if you use SQLAlchemy as long as you aren't using it to defraud people. If you were defrauding people, it wouldn't matter what tool you used.

.

[-] Naich@kbin.social 100 points 11 months ago

I'm shocked that a person who thinks the name of a piece of software can harm them doesn't understand their own religion.

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[-] 0x4E4F@infosec.pub 45 points 11 months ago

If you were defrauding people, it wouldn't matter what tool you used.

Stays silent while coding the JezuzLovezU worm...

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[-] darkpanda@lemmy.ca 233 points 11 months ago

Better not tell them about daemons I guess.

[-] Maestro@kbin.social 50 points 11 months ago

From the title of the screenshot I was sure it was going to be about daemons.

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[-] Godort@lemm.ee 183 points 11 months ago

Just wait until they learn about Daemons

[-] PixelAlchemist@lemmy.world 162 points 11 months ago

I don’t see how the term “Alchemy” is any different than “Transubstantiation”, and the Catholic Church seems pretty down with that.

Imagine living your entire life with this kind of fear. Religion does crazy things to people’s minds.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 50 points 11 months ago

You say that and yet... APIs and XML-RPC are essentially the same thing. But APIs don't make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

[-] ShunkW@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago

You... You shut your whore mouth. We don't talk about xml here

[-] GroteStreet@aussie.zone 48 points 11 months ago

Go wash your mouth with some SOAP.

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[-] otter@lemmy.ca 26 points 11 months ago

Looking at the comments in that thread, people seem to agree that the question is silly

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[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 146 points 11 months ago

Yet they say “Easter Eggs”, referring to a Pagan tradition. As hypocritical as it gets.

[-] quams69@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

They celebrate christmas, a pagan tradition they literally stole, the whole thing is fucking clownshoes

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[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 111 points 11 months ago

The user shouldn't code in Python. That's a fucking serpent. It caused Eve to eat the apple. Original sin. Holy shit, the most popular coding language is from the fucking devil! Mask off, mind blown, what the eff.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 36 points 11 months ago

On that note, I sure hope he doesn’t uses any Apple products either.

[-] palordrolap@kbin.social 28 points 11 months ago

TL;DR The fruit of the tree of knowledge being a literal apple is non-canon, being entirely based on a pun.

The word "apple" is not used in the Bible, that is, unless the Bible in question is a translation that specifically uses that word. Even then, see below.

The whole apple thing comes from:

  1. the fact that the word for "apple" can be used as a synonym for "(any) fruit" in some languages and context, and so could mean any fruit.

Think about French pomme de terre for "potato" which is literally "apple (meaning 'fruit') of the earth". Dutch has aardappel (earth apple) which is the same thing. Fun fact: Old English eorþæppel (earth apple) allegedly meant "cucumber". Go figure. But I digress.

  1. Latin is the main ecclesiastical language for one particularly influential branch of Christianity and one word for apple in Latin is "malus". That sounds like a lot of unrelated Latin words that start "mal-" that mean bad or evil, thus an apparent connection to the fruit of the tree of knowledge also leading to evil.

(I mean, it might actually be a proto-apple of some sort (modern apples did not exist 7000 years ago or whenever it was supposed to be) but the Bible doesn't specify.

Some scholars think that the whole thing developed out of metaphor for abandoning a hunter-gatherer lifestyle for farming. Others think that it might be a reference to beer / alcohol, which is one of the first things humans got interested in after farming.)

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[-] Justas@sh.itjust.works 31 points 11 months ago

Python is actually named after Monty Python's Flying Circus, so it isn't a serpent. It is so much worse.

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[-] Pfnic@feddit.ch 93 points 11 months ago

This is the kind of person who would stick to IDE (with master and slave disks ofc) because S-ATA is only an N away from eternal damnation

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[-] Littleborat@feddit.de 84 points 11 months ago

I just skimmed this but shouldn't people who are unable/ubwilling to live in the modern world be true to themselves and also not code in some demonic language?

Just skip it and piss off dear catholic

[-] Cqrd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 11 months ago

Wait until they learn about daemons

[-] Littleborat@feddit.de 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Even the real daemons are just spirits it's the Christians who literally demonized them.

The idiocy goes back more than a millenium.

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[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 81 points 11 months ago

Poor Mormons can't use Java.

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[-] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 80 points 11 months ago

It must be exhausting to go through life saddled with so much mental bullshit.

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[-] hactar42@lemmy.world 75 points 11 months ago

import SQLAlchemy as SQLJesus

Problem solved

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[-] soulfirethewolf@lemdro.id 63 points 11 months ago

Alchemy isn't even a strictly occult thing. It was something done in the medieval era that was basically a very early form of science before most of the things they were trying to do were considered impossible

[-] EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

If Jesus really turned water into wine then what would you call that if not alchemy?

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[-] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 63 points 11 months ago

I used to have an rpg on steam, with "fantasy" in the name. One day someone sent me an email asking if there was any way to remove all references to magic from the game so they could play it, as having witches and stuff was a big no for them, but they still wanted to try the game.

[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I remember when Bioshock Infinite came out, a few weirdos were demanding refunds because in the first 10 minutes of the game, a scene with a bunch of cultists requires you to click a button to "Accept Baptism" from them. They were refusing to push the button on religious grounds, and so they soft locked themselves out of playing the rest of the game. Smh.

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[-] tourist@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

I hope you sent them a 0kb game.exe with the tagline "here u go mate, god bless"

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[-] hex_m_hell@slrpnk.net 62 points 11 months ago

This person is really gonna hate my new web framework "I submit to the horned lord, Lucifer, the light bringer and ruler of this world. All hail Satan."

I think it's gonna be big since it's the only web framework for Malbolge.

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[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 58 points 11 months ago

Yes, it is. Please quit our profession and become a Mechanicus Techpriest.

Or, I guess, learn perl - it's sort of into that kind of thing.

[-] Daxtron2@startrek.website 54 points 11 months ago

Oooh spooky alembics ⚗⚗⚗

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[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 53 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

[...]tempted [to use] another tool called "Peewee"

Oh yes, OOP is definitely a Catholic priest

[-] Jilanico@lemmy.world 52 points 11 months ago

Future TempleOS user

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 50 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Use Ark to compress all your files and place them in a shielded metal box. Save yourself from the flood of solar flares that God will send to rid the world of all the sinful data. Make sure to include exactly 2 copies of each of God’s programs.

[-] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Based on the comments in here, this joke went over many heads... Does not want to use a tool called Alchemy, but has tried one called Peewee, as in using Peewees in catholic church is ok (Peewees is referred to kids in amateur sports between 12-13 years of age)

[-] ChrissieWF@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 11 months ago

Peewees is referred to kids in amateur sports between 12-13 years of age

that's probably the missing piece of information for most ^^'

[-] boringbisexual 34 points 11 months ago

Just fork it and name it something else.

[-] Routhinator@startrek.website 38 points 11 months ago

Religions have been doing this for millenia.

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[-] AlijahTheMediocre@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago

This man probably hesitates to pick up a screwdriver when assembling IKEA furniture

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[-] halm@leminal.space 34 points 11 months ago

The sinful tools with occult names work. I think that should be a big pointer here.

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[-] CameronDev@programming.dev 32 points 11 months ago

Poor thing. Wait until they learn what a single python did to humanity.

[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago

"I installed Python on my Apple notebook. Guys.... am I responsible for the Fall of Man?"

[-] Misconduct@startrek.website 28 points 11 months ago

This post was a joke but I once had a woman scream at me for an hour that her account number had 666 in the middle of it. She was extremely upset that nobody warned her about this. She wanted a new account AND a refund for the entire time that the "sinful" account was active.

I should mention that her account was 15 years old at the time. The number never changed during that time it was always the same. She screamed so long and hard that they gave her a credit that essentially covered an entire year of service. I hate it here 😀

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[-] coconutking@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

This seems like a poor attempt to get out of an assignment. Religion can be so convenient sometimes.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de 25 points 11 months ago

Yeah well then. Classroom evolution by selection for superstition at its finest.

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this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
893 points (100.0% liked)

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