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submitted 9 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

If the average American were asked what they imagine the priorities of the feminist movement are these days, most people would likely cite concerns like "fighting abortion bans" or "getting justice for sexual violence victims" or boring mainstays like "equal pay for equal work." But if you listen in to the world of right-wing social media influencers, they have a different answer. To them, feminists are single-mindedly obsessed with destroying women who identify as "tradwives."

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[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 156 points 9 months ago

Are they also selling the fantasy you can make ends meet on a single person's income?

[-] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago

It’s the same fantasy. You work on seven years I’ll work on odd ones

[-] Twentytwodividedby7@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

Right, that's the most idiotic part. My wife has a career that I also make sacrifices for and vice versa. Even with modest career growth, she will contribute about $4M in earnings over 30 years.

Setting earnings aside, we have a child, and she is an equal partner. It would be insulting and foolish to ask her to stop working. We want our son to grow up knowing that women are just as capable as men.

[-] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

They're selling the fantasy to people still living with their parents.

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 76 points 9 months ago

I've heard the term "tradwife" before, and it always seems to equal "Someone who will be a new mom, but does what she's told".

Based on direct personal experience I recommend a witch wife. Intelligent, capable, not submissive (unless she wants to be) and definitely not helpless.

[-] Toribor@corndog.social 33 points 9 months ago

Young disillusioned men who don't think they are getting the respect they deserve fantasize about a submissive wife and family that they can rule over as a Patriarch. They think that this is more natural or normal than marriage as a partnership of equals.

[-] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 20 points 9 months ago

It's fucking gross

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

Yuck. My wife is an adult with her own feelings, goals, fears, and strengths. Most of which compliment my own. I can't imagine trying to keep her held down, because it's too much fun to stand back and watch her.

[-] hume_lemmy@lemmy.ca 13 points 9 months ago

Woman In Total Control of Herself. There's a song and everything!

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[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 11 points 9 months ago

Exactly who I want!

My friend couldn't understand why I was into his sister when "she's stubborn and thick headed!" No, she just knows what she wants and she knows when to argue. I like that she has a brain...

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago

[off topic] There was a hilarious episode of Dharma and Greg where Greg's mother turns 50 and starts to freak out. Dharma tries to help by getting her to embrace her "inner crone."

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[-] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 71 points 9 months ago

No one:

Conservatives: WEMEN BAD

[-] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 62 points 9 months ago

I like that there’s even an accidental confession in the spelling.

[-] banneryear1868@lemmy.world 58 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Naïve man children who need validation because being with someone their equal is scary, and the "tradwife" insofar as they exist, wants to be completely dependent on this manchild. Sounds like a great idea I'm sure it works out well all the time. The idea of being with a woman like this hell to me, and any of the associated sexual fantasies involved are hotter when power is willingly relinquished, from either person, not in some weird coercive context.

[-] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

being with someone their ~~equal~~ superior

This is their real fear. And that if women are given a chance to live their life in freedom, the men might actually have to offer something on the relationship table that they might not be able to manage.

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[-] schema@lemmy.world 43 points 9 months ago

Fleecing these nutjobs by pandering to their fantasies is so fucking easy.

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

Same folks who wouldn't walk through New York City honestly believe they'd be a badass warlord in the post apocalypse

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[-] FarFarAway@startrek.website 42 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

In my doomer brain...

It's just a preview of what's to come if the far right takes over, for every woman that is unfortunate to come across a man that is all in.

They'll reverse no fault marriage, and then when you marry the guy (either because the guy pulls a bait and switch, or you don't really understand what your agreeing too until after the fact) you either comply or get beat into submission, with no way out, while you pop out babies

This is a handbook, not a fad.

I'm sure I'm wrong and it's a bunch of women that don't want to work...but if it's not, it could turn into some scary shit.

[-] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 24 points 9 months ago

Well. The Handmaid's Tale is the handbook since they literally want Gilead and have been openly working towards it

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 37 points 9 months ago

This is like ragebait to the third power.

[-] Yearly1845@reddthat.com 9 points 9 months ago

That's Salon for you.

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[-] toasteecup@lemmy.world 28 points 9 months ago

I've met people who live that life as a kind of kink. It's honestly amazing that people can somehow afford it.

[-] MagicShel@programming.dev 16 points 9 months ago

While our kids were little, my wife could've had a job that just about broke even with daycare. Maybe netted $200/mo. Why the hell would I put her through all that and spend on gas and an extra vehicle for $50/wk. That's a buck an hour! The family was better off being supported on a single income.

It wasn't kinky. Well okay we worked a little kink into it. I'm not saying everyone needs to try this one little hack, but we ran the math and dual income didn't make sense for us; single income wasn't anything we had to try to make work. Yeah we had to make choices and limit ourselves a little, but only a tiny bit less than otherwise. Our monthly budget was like $3k or something and another $200 was nothing.

[-] FarFarAway@startrek.website 19 points 9 months ago

Stay at home mom is one thing, but was she subservient and obedient?

There's a difference between a woman staying at home to raise kids because it makes financial sense, and what these women are peddling.

[-] MagicShel@programming.dev 17 points 9 months ago

TMI: I mean we are kinky so it felt like a natural fit at first but it didn't take very long to get uncomfortable with household submission outside the bedroom. Especially since we have daughters and even if it was sexy for us, it sure as hell wasn't behavior I wanted to model for them.

So as far as your point goes it really wasn't kinky, but I have some understanding of how it can be for some folks who already decide single income is the right choice for them. But once kids enter the picture, kink has to go behind closed doors. Family dynamic has to grow beyond just what tickles two people.

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[-] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago

Social media is really no different than traditional media: you play a character that appeals to your specific audience to sell something, in this case, the tradwife lifestyle, because that's what their audience wants to see, a kind of fantastical parallel universe like Barbieland, a fantastical parody of the media's depiction of 1950s Americana to make money. Don't get too angry at that, because fictional persona are just that, fictions, and the second the camera stopped rolling these characters cease to exist, because these characters cannot step into the real world.

In reality, how many women would actually put on cute pink sweaters and nice stainless farm dress and a full face of makeup to cook and clean? Trust me, nobody looks this good when they are doing housework.

I understand why these kind of video became popular, because they are ultimately is a reactionary movement in response to some of the more extreme and vitriolic voices within the feminists movement, but again, a broken system that is inherently unfair is still broken even if the sides are switched, and it's still not the equality and fairness we should all be striving toward.

[-] Borkingheck@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago

I'd love a trad wife or frankly to be a trans trad wife? Basically I'd love myself or my wife to be able to not have to work and actually be able to spend time cooking meals and doing household chores, so we actually have more time with each other at the weekends.

[-] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Hahahaha, when I grew up, I though it was pretty neat that my mom did all the chores at home and, basically, worked (as a household raising mother) from home in 1995. Loosely translated, we have a non-derogatory word for it in dutch: House-spouse or House-woman. When asked at school what I wanted to be when i grew up: House-spouse/House-man!

[-] masquenox@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

There's nothing I find more pathetic than a man that cannot get through the day without an obedient slave to wipe his arrse for him.

It's the epitome of fragility.

[-] mtchristo@lemm.ee 18 points 9 months ago

Why should we care about how tow consenting adults choose to live their matrimonial lives. What is this. Fascism ?

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[-] StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

Kind of strange that the top comments in this thread are referring to the fantasy of a single-income household, as if surviving on one income would make an oppressed, confined, lonely, mothers-little-helper-addicted wife acceptable.

[-] jesuiscequejesuis@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

I don't think they're implying it'd be acceptable, just that the current economic situation makes that fantasy even more unrealistic.

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[-] OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Oh dear, mensliberation seems to be leaning a bit far right these days if those comments are anything to go by.

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[-] 100_percent_a_bot@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago
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this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
443 points (100.0% liked)

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