I always assume these types of reviews are jokes, because the alternative, that they're serious, is sort of insulting to me as a member of the same species as the person who wrote it.

I don't hate joke reviews, but I don't like when the overall rating itself is affected by the joke ratings.

Beach near me.

Imagine directing the same negative energy towards the people who litter in nature (or anywhere else for that matter).

Funniest nature review I ever saw was:

5 Star waterfall - "never been"

The first one is legit funny. 😂 Who the hell turned off the lights?

One of Ryan George's videos explained one reason these reviews exist. Google used to have a pretty robust Local Guide designation for reviewers who were actively reviewing locations. They game-ified reviews and naturally some people wanted a high score. So, they would review things like parking lots and other places that are usually not 'review-able'.

Okay got some good ones near my park

5 stars are often just as silly. 5-star at a restaurant be like "We all had food poisoning the next day but the service was great! Food out fast."

I once went on a short hike in the summer, and even though it was hot and sunny outside my body kept getting wet? My hand got slippery which made my cane hard to hold, and I smelled bad after that! Don’t hike here, they fuck with you!

One star reviews are hilarious in general.

"Joe Schmo's pizza"

Excellent pizza, Joe is warm and welcoming, very clean tables and fantastic service. However, they forgot to add Canadian bacon :(

1/5 stars

On my city's nature trails there are signs on the entrance of unofficial paths in the woods warning people that the ground could be uneven and slippery.

How pathetic have we become as a species that we can't even let someone walk in the woods without fearing a lawsuit?

Edit: I even remember being told by an employee at Costco to walk the long way through a long empty queue instead of simply going over or under the chain because "I could have hurt myself" doing so. Overprotective nonsense like that makes me want to live in a cabin in the woods away from everyone.

I decided to search my local trails to see if I could find any good one star reviews. Nothing as good as these, but I did find a guy giving bad ratings to try to reduce the crowds, who said he paid $700 for parking and broke both knees.

Edit: also found a 1 star review of a nearby lake that says "bro it's just water"

Lots of wildlife made it hard to listen to my music on my Bluetooth speaker. No marking off trail to keep you from getting lost, so you just gotta walk the same path as everyone else. Got to the end of the trail and it just eneded, there wasn't even a hotdog vendor so I had to walk back hungry and thirsty. Couldn't even find someone who worked here to ask for assistance. 1 star.

Too many mosquitos and the bear assistant didn't help me at all. ⭐⚫⚫⚫⚫

If you like this kind of nonsense, you'll probably love the podcast Beach too Sandy, Water too Wet like I do!