"Nice wheels. Wanna fuck?"

and I can’t really message one on a dating app and be like “yea I just wanna fuck you”.

I mean... Isn't that the point of dating apps? I'm assuming you're male, so you have a mountain to climb anyway, but you can treat the people in wheelchairs you find on there the same way you treat other people and probably find similar success.

Just as an aside, just in case you manage it, beware the wheelchair hand job. The upper body strength on wheelchair users is no joke. They could rip it clean off without even trying.

I imagine the place to start is finding a wheelchair user who wants to have sex with you, the same way you'd find anyone else. They'll probably have some pointers on how to have sex with them, if they're so inclined.

Also this really sounds like a fetish, ngl

Solution: fuck someone so hard they're temporarily confined to a wheelchair, then fuck them again?

To look at this issue from a slightly different perspective, if you're the kind of person who has a bicycle and primarily uses it for exercise, a wheelchair becomes immediately useful as it's the same thing for the upper body. On one hand, they are a medical device; however, there's no law against owning one for other reasons. The problem you run into here (aside from the social stigma of using a medical device for exercise and/or recreation, people will think you have no respect for those who need the device and may even feel you're ethically obligated to donate the chair to a handicapped person in need) is that because it's a medical device, it costs more than it should. When I was a kid, I had a neighbor who had a wheelchair, but did not use it. I would help her around the house (she was a multiple amputee), and I would help look after her sons. They wanted to play in the chair. She said fine, just don't break it. It was pretty sturdy anyway. So I'd push them around in it, and sitting in the thing, I found it was a heck of an exercise device for the chest and arms. So I looked into getting one. In the 1990s, they started at $500. Meanwhile, you could get a decent mountain bike for $150. Not a great one, but one that would get you on the trail. And I wasn't even looking at a sporty wheelchair, either, I was looking at the silver and grey kind you'd find in a hospital. I can only imagine the cool ones cost way more. But, maybe you can find one used, thrift one or something. If you got the chair, you or a partner can role play. Bonus, they're kinda fun to use until you gotta go uphill, and if someone tries to help you and you tell them you aren't really handicapped, you look like an arsehole.

Still, I think using a wheelchair for non-medical reasons is way, way down the arsehole ladder from fetishising people with handicaps in the eyes of society. You can make up excuses for either, but people are still gonna talk. The only way to win that argument is to not play from the start.

If it's truly not a fetish and you really want to meet people with disabilities without running into the other social stigma (power imbalance in a relationship), I'd say one way to do that is to advocate for disabled rights in your community. So you would start with a rehabilitation place of some kind — the problem here is, those places are not going to refer you to individuals due to privacy laws — and your approach is that you want to fight for something in your community, and your cause of choice is the rights of people with disabilities. Ask these places if you can put up a flyer. You're a rebel with a lot of free time and you want to make things better for people living with disabilities, so you want them to contact you at no cost or obligation to talk about the difficulties they face that abled people do not, and you try to effect some changes in your local community. Tell the people who contact you to come support you in town hall meetings where you call upon local leaders to implement more ramps, more handicap parking spaces, and other disabled-friendly implementations. This way, people see you as a good guy, and you don't have any power over people with disabilities. Rather, it's kind of the other way around, since you're working for them. But you're their local hometown hero.

You should not do things like that for the sole purpose of sleeping with someone, or other selfish reasons. But, that's how you get out from under the fetishisation and power imbalance accusations. It's not easy and it's not fast, but what's right seldom is.

I've never done anything like that, so if anyone who has experience wants to clarify, go right on ahead.

Yo run into trouble in two ways. First, not everyone in a chair is in it for the same reason. Second, you end up largely limited in how casual it can be by virtue of some people needing to have specialty gear to get into and out of chairs. This often means that in extreme cases, you'll more or less be limited to going back to their place. That's a big ask for a one night stand when someone is in a difficult situation.

That being said, or depends on three main factors: flexibility, mobility, and sensation.

There's dozens of things that can have a person in a chair. Could be something like bad joints at the least restrictive end, up to something like quadriplegia at the most restrictive.

Now, disclaimer here, most of my patients that were in chairs are their main form of mobility were men. The female patients I had in that category weren't exactly sharing their sex lives with me, beyond a couple of attempts to involve me directly (though a couple of men offered that too).

So, a lot of what I can offer is second hand at best, if you're a man wanting to have sex with women in chairs.

With that in mind, what exactly are you wanting to know?

Uh I mean, there's probably some places you can volunteer to help disabled persons, though I think they might frown on sleeping with the clients. The clients might not frown on it idk. I am not a doctor this is not medical advice