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[-] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 161 points 1 month ago

If she is saying this at this point it feels like she feels that he is neglecting her to play video games

So the line 'While you are obviously more important to me than some silly games' is not obvious at all, to the point where she feels like she is not important to him at all and thus worth ending the relationship over (since there is effectively no relationship)

In fact I'd argue this is a complete strawman of a meme and designed entirely just to make 1 person look bad and the other feel smug and superior 🤓

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 month ago

I took it as a non serious joke riffing of a common meme.

[-] EggInDisguise 19 points 1 month ago

Take memes seriously and get into arguments on the internet!

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[-] Dichloromethane@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 month ago

I've personally had a girlfriend criticize my video game playing. While she was on vacation. In the first month of dating her. She was saying that playing video games was immature and that I really should only play video games to spend time with my nephew. This meme resonated with me because it reminded me to respect myself and my hobbies even if I get shamed for it by women.

Believe it or not, women can be toxic too.

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[-] paranoid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

You're right - it may feel obvious to him but not her. But saying "sometimes I feel neglected, let's figure out how to fix that" is much healthier than saying "stop or I'll leave"

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[-] Beth@piefed.social 96 points 1 month ago

I’ve had a partner criticize my video game time before. They didn’t want to spend more time with me though, they just didn’t like that I was talking to other people online. I’ve also had a partner spend 90% of their free time online and ignore our relationship. What I find most interesting about the meme however is that any time it comes up it’s always the female partner giving the ultimatum, and I do not think that is a coincidence, I think it’s shaping a perception, and rage bait.

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago

It's absolutely pushing an agenda. But for once, the guy's response is reasonable and healthy.

[-] Beth@piefed.social 11 points 1 month ago

Yeah it wouldn’t be a bad response at all in a healthy relationship context. I wish all partners could give each other the same respect. I like the response, just not the frame.

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[-] rumba@lemmy.zip 68 points 1 month ago

My ex tried this shit with me talking to any women. I had never, even once, given her any hint of inpropriety.

I ended it there, that day, and just stayed single for the next year or so.

[-] CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago

A person that jealous is a red flag for control

[-] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 36 points 1 month ago

That or projection and they are cheating themselves... been there

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[-] Smokeless7048@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

What, she once said "no more talking to other women"!?

[-] rumba@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 month ago

A downward spiral that ended more or less there.

We had been together for a couple years, long distance. she was a couple months from moving back.

Start of conversation, I say: Kate said that the renfest tickets were about to go on sale

Who's Kate.

Kate at work, there's a crew that goes every year, we should go.

What else do you and Kate talk about?

Devolves into wanting an index of female friends and leading questions of if they are nice...

Mind you, we'd not been fighting; I was always accountable and on time. We had just spent most of a week together.

Near the end, she made it an "it's either me or her..."

Kate is gay... I could have went down that path, But at this point, "woah woah woah, give me your key, we're done"

I never regretted that.

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[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Had a friend who's wife started assuming he was cheating or trying to cheat with any other woman in his life. It was very extreme. Like - he once held the door open for a random woman entering a restaurant and she started accusing the woman of being a whore.

He ended up staying with her for a few more years because their daughter was 16 and he didn't want to end up paying child support, and when they split up the 18yo daughter moved in with him.

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[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 67 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear.

Married a woman who plays video games with me.

[-] lohky@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago

My wife is currently breeding an army of factory workers for me in exchange for a ton of ammo and raw materials in Palworld.

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago
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[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago

The answer to most ultimatums is no. It's one thing if it's something you need to change and is reasonable to demand, but even then by the time it hits an ultimatum the relationship is often in a position where the damage runs deep.

I've ended an engagement over an ultimatum and it's one of the best decisions I've made

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Them: You have to stop playing video games, they're a waste of money and time and take up too much space

Me: Ok, then you stop collecting funkos

[-] CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

"You need to stop playing video games"

Normal people: says the person that is on Instagram and TikTok for eight hours a day?

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

THANK YOU. So glad to be free of that judgment and eating my cat food in peace.

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[-] echo@lemmy.today 47 points 1 month ago

An expert display of narcissism. He completely dismisses how she feels and then tells her that she is the problem.

[-] DandomRude@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Yes, "It's me or your video games" strongly suggests, in this fictional scenario, that it's by no means the first time this issue has been brought up. Even if that were the case, however, the reply by the guy would be arrogant and selfish, since it ignores his partner's needs instead of respecting them.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Hmm yeah "how she feels" being a manipulative ultimatum

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[-] sidebro@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 month ago

I feel like the whole situation would not even happen if they had a healthy relationship, as in discussing their feelings.

[-] daggermoon@piefed.world 13 points 1 month ago

It's good to talk about our feelings.

lol @ the comments are arguing about the speculative context for this conversation. Either one of these fictional people could be unreasonable given different context.

Yall are telling on your own insecurities.

[-] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago

Obviously the woman has cancer and has only a week to live, but the husband is a world class esports athlete and he promised an entire ward of kids with cancer that he'd win the championship.

But the husband has cancer too and this is the last time that he can play before his eyes need to be surgically removed. But he doesn't know that his wife made a deal with the devil, if she can get the husband to stop playing games then Satan will erase cancer from the world and the entire ward of children will be instantly healed.

But if her husband finds out about this deal he will instantly kill everyone. This is a very complex situation.

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 15 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

This is a little far-fetched.

The man comes from a long-line of noble gamers and is merely upholding the traditional values he was raised on, lest he distress the spirits of his ancestors. The woman was raised by puritan chess masters during the castle siege of Fort Boyard and views the world only under the paranoid lens of allegiance/betrayal.

It's a simple culture clash that likely leads to some interesting bedtime shenanigans that gets them both off, e.g. Lockpicking a chastity belt whilst she eggs him on in French

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[-] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Relationships built on ultimatums are very abusive. You're forcing someone to do something they don't want to do to fit your expectations.

If you feel like your only recourse to get what you want is to make an ultimatum, maybe it's already time to move on.

[-] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 month ago

It depends on the more on what is at stake more than just the ultimatum. Get sober or get out is very different than stop your hobby or get out. No matter how you try to get someone to give up their running club, it's probably an abusive move.

[-] Slovene85@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago

You either never cheat on me or this relationship is over.

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[-] architect@thelemmy.club 12 points 1 month ago

Every relationship is built on ultimatums. Such a weird opinion to say it’s abusive. I’m leaving if my partner cheats, picks up a drug habit, or spends all of our money, for instance.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

I think there's a difference between a hard boundary and an ultimatum. The former exists before it needs to be said, and the latter is a "do/stop this or the relationship is over". It's often associated with existing relationship issues or a sudden change in the relationship.

It's also associated with an expectation that one gets their way. Rather than approaching as a conversation about "are we still compatible" it becomes a cudgel. When I rejected my ex's ultimatum it resulted in her begging me to change my answer and later yelling at me about my being willing to end the relationship.

[-] paranoid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

There's a difference between ultimatums and boundaries

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[-] coolie4@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

Yes, but:

Three hours later

OMG so why did you guys break up? You were so perfect for each other!

He chose his video games over me...

Wow what a loser, you're so much better than him

[-] EggInDisguise 25 points 1 month ago

I'm sure he's devastated that his ex's friends are supporting her.

[-] coolie4@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Not uncommon for couples to share friends. No matter who it is, no one likes getting bad mouthed behind their back

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

"Can you believe she had the gall to accuse me of choosing video games over her‽ Anyway, back to the campaign..."

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[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago

Such an alpha move when, if someone sits you down, you first get up and sit down on the other side of them before you respond.

[-] sadie_sorceress@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago

Also pushing the book shelf across the room and rearranging all the books

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

And replanting the trees outside so they face in the opposite direction!

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[-] SupremeDonut@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago

This is a reasonable response, however if his habits are inhibiting his lifestyle then she has every right to bring it up as an issue.

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[-] CptOblivius@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

So many on here are critical of the lady without knowing the full circumstance. Some people have a huge game addiction problem to level like alcohol or drugs and cannot regulate/manage appropriately. She may have tried more conservative options. If she said either you quit alcohol or gambling or I am leaving...no one would bat an eye. I play video games, have for decades, and know I can neglect my daily life if I let myself. So it isn't black and white.

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[-] iatenine@piefed.social 19 points 1 month ago

The fact they've graduated from a "talking stick" to rearranging the furniture and trading sides of the couch between responses was prob an early warning sign

[-] chunes@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

I would never date an extrovert or someone with no hobbies for exactly this reason. They need you to entertain them or they throw a fit.

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[-] Strider@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Haha no, short answer: too bad for you, it's video games! ❤️

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[-] wuffah@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

…he said, adjusting his gaming diaper.

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[-] jellyfishhunter@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Why not both? Why not play together? Like... Some kind of... Threesome

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this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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