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[-] echo@lemmy.today 47 points 2 days ago

An expert display of narcissism. He completely dismisses how she feels and then tells her that she is the problem.

[-] DandomRude@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago

Yes, "It's me or your video games" strongly suggests, in this fictional scenario, that it's by no means the first time this issue has been brought up. Even if that were the case, however, the reply by the guy would be arrogant and selfish, since it ignores his partner's needs instead of respecting them.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Hmm yeah "how she feels" being a manipulative ultimatum

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The narcissist wouldn't dump her over it, he'd apologize and keep doing it.

Edit: I appear to have grossly oversimplified narcissists.

[-] ratofkryll@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

No. He'd dump her, then come back all apologetic less than 24 hours later, beg for forgiveness, and promise to change. He'd make grand gestures in the first few days and make her feel like he might be serious this time. Within a week, whatever it was will have become her fault, she'll always have been the real abuser in the situation, and he'll punish her by withdrawing until she interprets his vague, passive-aggressive hints correctly in order to atone for her sins against him in the only way he has deemed appropriate. This whole thing will be just one one in a long line of many similar incidents, which have escalated over enough time that he has convinced her that she is, in fact, the bad one and that she deserves to be treated this way because of it. She'll have been kept on an emotional rollercoaster for so long that when (if) the relationship finally does end, it will take a very long time for her to be able to identify the pattern.

I have some first-hand experience in this area.

[-] echo@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

He would absolutely say that he's dumping her and tell her how fucked up she is for even bringing HER problem to him in the first place. He wouldn't get in any hurry to actually leave, though. The longer he can keep her in her head and wondering what is actually going on, the better.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Hahaha wow no.

No, this is an ultimatum, not 'expressing her feelings'.

It is a threat, quite literally, and that in fact is a problem... healthy relationships do not involve threats.

This is not 'hey, instead of video games tonight, could we maybe go on a walk, or out to dinner, or maybe cook dinner together, or go see a movie? Oh you had a scheduled match... hrm, maybe this weekend?'

That you think this is narcissism betrays that you are, at best, very bad at communicating, and at worst, are yourself a narcissist who is projecting.

this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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