1204
He was very mature about this
(lemmy.world)
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
If she is saying this at this point it feels like she feels that he is neglecting her to play video games
So the line 'While you are obviously more important to me than some silly games' is not obvious at all, to the point where she feels like she is not important to him at all and thus worth ending the relationship over (since there is effectively no relationship)
In fact I'd argue this is a complete strawman of a meme and designed entirely just to make 1 person look bad and the other feel smug and superior 🤓
I took it as a non serious joke riffing of a common meme.
Take memes seriously and get into arguments on the internet!
That is quite literally 90% of what I'm here for.
I've personally had a girlfriend criticize my video game playing. While she was on vacation. In the first month of dating her. She was saying that playing video games was immature and that I really should only play video games to spend time with my nephew. This meme resonated with me because it reminded me to respect myself and my hobbies even if I get shamed for it by women.
Believe it or not, women can be toxic too.
Narcissist.
She needs to monopolize your attention, even when it really doesn't make any direct sense for that to be happening.
Its how narcissists 'do' relationships, they groom you into only being allowed to enjoy paying attention to and recieving attention from them.
You being able to spend or recieve attention from others is a threat to them.
Hope you ran for the hills.
You're right - it may feel obvious to him but not her. But saying "sometimes I feel neglected, let's figure out how to fix that" is much healthier than saying "stop or I'll leave"
One would assume, since the guy in this case couldn't hear the message at all, that the guy didn't hear the prior attempts to be more nuanced.
No.
You might assume that.
Other people, with different personalities and experiences, might assume different things.
You could also assume that she'd never directly brought it up to him before.
Maybe she vaguely hinted at something... and he didn't really know what she meant, because she was vague.
Or maybe she did directly bring it up, and they then agreed to a new paradigm, and then she realized she was still unhappy despite both of them following the guidelines they agreed on.
Or, maybe he just bought the thing and is setting it up for the first time.
Or you could assume a porcelain teapot is orbiting Mercury, we just haven't seen it yet.
Its s really bad idea to invent context that doesn't exist about a complex social situation that you've only seen a tiny snapshot of. Because you're just making things up at that point, and then judging people based on things you made up about them.
It is a strawman but giving an ultimatum is also a nuclear option in a relationship and it's over when the other person said "it's me or....", that is the last argument of a failed relationship. Does the first person have an unhealthy habit that they are unwilling to change, possibly, but if you're trying to change someone to fit your wants and needs then you're not ever going to be in a healthy relationship.
Maybe you or they change or develop a new habit during along relationship, well then everyone has communicate in a healthy manner and then there's possiblity of breaking off the relationship.
But I've seen this scenario more than once where the partner went straight for the ultimatum and the obvious defense to me would be to not engage or deflect because that's a Kobayashi Maru.
Even reasonable needs typically only go straight to an ultimatum when the person giving it understands on some level that it's not something the other person will give easily or happily.
For example my ex decided polyamory wasn't working for her, but I thrived in it in a way I hadn't in monogamy. I can't imagine she didn't understand on some level that it was an irreconcilable difference.
Its not a strawman.
I personally know a fair number of guys that have had nearly this exact interchange.
With the addition of... after the 'well im displeased by the ultimatum, that you would do that'... then the woman begins screaming and becomes physically violent, destroying property, assault, etc.
Roughly 2/3 as many men are victims of female domestic violence as women are victims men.
Its... pretty common actually.
Does it change anything at all that it’s just a meme and not a real description of life?
Does that change anything at all for you?
The meme is a bit wordy, but uh no, plently of people in relationships are not great at communicating, setting clear expectations and boundaries...
But issuing an ultimatum is a power move, that if acquiesed to, sets a precedent where that can be done for anything. This is antithetical to a relationship where each person respects the other one. After an ultimatum like this, such mutual respect is impossible going forward.
The only correct choice, for both people, is that if an ultimatum like this is issued, or one person genuinely thinks they have no other option?
You two are done.
You do not work as a couple, wrap it up.