I have kids.

It was obviously a difficult decision when not knowing what it would be like, but I think the key for me was that it's the kind of experience that you can only fully grasp by going through with it. I just had to YOLO it.

No regrets. Not only did I get to be part of their lives, but it also changed me in ways that I would never have thought possible otherwise. I learned a lot.

It's hard work and expensive, but I don't think I've missed out of anything that I could've had or done if I hadn't had kids. I suppose I'm very privileged in the sense that they haven't been a hinderance in any regard. It's not really a choice between being able to do something or not. It's more about having these tiny companions along when you decide do it anyway.

My advice is you're on the fence about kids, don't adopt.

We adopted because we thought "we're actually pretty good at this, and hey, there are kids out there who desperately need a family".

Let me tell you, it is so much harder, for so many reasons. I can't even fully express it, it's so much harder.

I have 3 little goblins. 13yo boy, twin 11yo girls.

I love being dad. It's been hard. It's been miserable. It has made me grow into a better person. It has made me more tolerant and loving and caring and understanding. It's been absolutely joyous and fun too.

One has been my sous chef and I've loved teaching her all about cooking. It started when she was probably 6, I'd let her help make dinner by stirring a bowl of ingredients or something easy. Now she makes entire multi course dinners on her own, at 11.

One is my snuggler and talker and just a chill sweet calm and kind soul. She loves stuffed animals and does tap jazz ballet pop dance.

One is our "animal whisperer" and has a magical presence around animals that somehow can get them to do what she wants. Maybe because she is semi-feral herself the animals understand her on a deep spiritual level.

One is an artist. He got into pencil sketches a year or so ago and has really spent a lot of time practicing and learning techniques and figuring out his unique style. He draws cute characters and dragons and video game characters and I am so impressed by it all.

Two of them love camping and being outdoors like me.

All 3 love video games and reading and being outside like me. All 3 love laughing and being silly and jokes and memes. All 3 love animals and love our pet cats.

I can't even imagine not being a dad.

However, and I can't stress this enough, parenting isn't for everyone. And that's ok! If being a parent doesn't feel like the thing for you, then don't do it! And don't feel guilty for that decision either. Some people have kids, some are the close aunty/unc, some have nothing to do with raising kids and all of that is fine. Don't let society or family pressure you to do something if you know it isn't for you. Society isn't going to be there at 3am when your newborn cries.

But for me, I love it, can't imagine not being dad. Love teaching them things, love watching them grow and learn, love seeing their unique personalities and styles develop, love who they are becoming, love being a part of that.

Yes, I would very much like that. I've always had the vague feeling that I do and enjoyed being with and around children, but started thinking about it more when I was together with my now-ex since we were discussing future plans.

Children are joy, discovery, love, and they are the future. I expect it might be both the most difficult but also rewarding venture one can set out on.

Have kids. Love my kids. I never thought I’d love having kids the way I do. They are some of my favorite people on the planet.

That said…

Kids are not for everyone. Having kids can be really hard on you, it would suck to discover you hate parenting after having kids. I probably wouldn’t have kids today given global geopolitical issues and the climate crisis.

I have kids that are grown and kids that are little. Being a parent can bring both the best and hardest experiences in life.

The initial experience, especially between pregnancy and the first few months after birth, is dramatically different for men and women. And this is just one guys perspective.

I remember feeling kind of conflicted at first. Like I should feel more excited than I do. Everyone is congratulating me. My wife is super excited. Her body is changing. She's experiencing all this in real time and I'm just ...here.

Then the baby is born. You're pretty sure there is no way in hell a head that big is going to fit through a hole that small. It does, provided everything goes well. And now you're just exhausted 24/7 for at least the first year. "Oh no. What have we done? I think maybe this was a huge mistake." You knew things were going to change. Maybe even in a big way. But you didn't realize everything would change. Now you suddenly understand why that one couple that you guys used to hang with all the time stopped showing up to get togethers after their first was born. You have zero free time and the lack of sleep feels like it's shaving years off your life. Baby's just cry, eat, sleep, and poop. You secretly wonder "how old is too old to drop her off at the fire station?"

Then something sort of magical happens. You're rocking the baby because it's being fussy. Probably because it's a Tuesday night, and that's the Tuesday night routine. All of a sudden, this little person just kind of snuggles up to your neck, sighs a satisfied little sigh, and konks out. And right there in that moment, your heart melts. I actually cried a little. I didn't want that moment to end. But end it must.

There are other similar moments in your future. But there are also more hard ones. Your baby grows up, faster than you expect. First to a toddler, when you sometimes ask your wife, "how old is too old to drop him off at the fire station?" And she responds, "I don't know, but if we leave now, we can probably squeeze in some cocktails and a movie before bed time."

Overall, they're pretty fun. Expensive, but fun. Then they get to be about 12 years old. Maybe 13 if you're lucky. They've idolized you up to this point. You've been the center of their universe. But no longer. Now, you are a loser who is always infringing on their plans and embarrasing them. That's ok. Its kind if your job. Your child has turned into the really overconfident drunk at the bar who believes she can "totally drive better after a few beers" and is currently trying to either fight or flirt with the jukebox. Maybe both. You're not sure which and asking will just get some eye rolling and dirty looks.

Your job is to snag her keys, plop her into an uber, and mutter, "Ok, buddy. Let's just get you home" with as little sarcasm as possible. Meanwhile, your wife is calling to ask, "how old is too old to drop her off at the fire station?". If you're lucky, this scenario is just a metaphor. If not, you've got some ball busting to do. It's part of the job.

Eventually, the "overconfident drunk" sobers up and becomes an adult. And you know you've at least been a good role model the first time he calls to say, "Dad, I need help." You help him, as best you can. While trying and failing to hold back a tear that rolls down your face as you realize the little baby that you watched come into the world is now an adult.

Some of it can be incredibly bitter. But some of it is oh, so sweet. Being a parent is not for everyone. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

usually HCOL, prevents one from having one altogether, plus the political, environemntal, socioeconomic hellscape children are going to face in the future.

Being a parent has been a journey filled with all sorts of stuff. First off, I knew I did not want to be a teen parent as my grandmother and my own mother were. I wad absolutely terrified of that. When I met my now spouse, I knew I wanted to have a baby with him because he is awesome. We waited until we got our degrees and were more financially stable. We were so eager to meet the baby and wanted it to exist so much. When baby was born we were overjoyed and tired of course lol. I remember the baby days in kind of a fog, then kid turned to a toddler and so on. Being a witness to my kid existing and allow myself to be the kind of.mother I needed when growing up has been the highlight of my life. I absolutely love seeing kid learning New things, laugh together, talking about hard stuff etc. But mostly, knowing that I can always be kid's safe place and that I did not create my kid, we both have created each other along the way and we keep changing, but our love is always there burning bright.

Definitely want kids in the future (adopted AND birthed if that's a word)!

The world has tons of beauty to witness and look at. So many things to do! So many amazing people to meet, be friends with and chill out with! So many celestial bodies to learn about! Just so much of cool stuff to do.

That being said, I highly doubt I'd be comfortable having kids for at least 7 more years. I kinda want to live the fuck out of my "no responsibility"/edgy phase, while create the material conditions necessary to raise kids.

I know I'll get there eventually though. Having kids is expensive, but not prohibitively expensive (at least where I live).

One kiddo. Quickly became the best season of my life. Not easiest season by any means but best.

I have 3 boys; or as I tell others 3 noise. Almost 5, 7 and 10.

For the nerdy metaphor...they are like like asteroids in space; when there is just two of them the orbits are stable and predictable. Add in a third, chaotic interactions are the norm, things can seem stable for periods but it is unpredictable when things will fly apart.

Being a parent is lots of fun, but often challenging. The different needs of the boys are stark, as are the differences in personality. One is extremely self driven and motivated; another is reserved, thoughtful and kind; the youngest is loud and trying to standout from the other two.

There are a million stories of cool stuff that happens and frustrations. Kids come up with cool new ideas; they are both reflections and extensions of you and what you teach them; both intentionally and unintentionally.

One story that is both horrifying and pride inducing:

My oldest had not been at school long; maybe a few months (so under 6); came home one day with a thoughtful look on his face. I said "whats up dude?"; he replies with "you only get in trouble for what you get caught for, right?".
My dad brain; is going WTF have I created!!!; I didn't really click to that till I was 9. I still wonder what he did to ask that question. When I asked "why?"; his response "oh no reason".

If there is one bit of advice I would give to prospective parents:

Do not compare your kid to other kids, support their development at their pace. Just because their brother/sister/your friends kid, could do something at a specific age doesn't say anything about your kid. Different skills develop at different rates in different people.

I have five total, two from birth. Being part of their lives has been an honor and joy — though not without its trials. Like I remember when my 6 year old decorated her closet in our rental house with math equations using a sharpie. I just had to sit and laugh with her. Or when my daughter, who loved to swim with my help or with swimmers just jumped into the deep end of a pool while I was on the other side cleaning something up and I had to sprint and dive in to pull her up. I don't think she even noticed she was going to drown.

I got ordained as a Jedi so that I could marry my oldest daughter dressed as Darth Vader — I made the groom duel me for her hand in front of everyone. It was good times.

I mean I could share shit shows as well but for the most part I'm really happy to be a dad.

I do not want and also do not have children.

However, my nieces are an absolute joy made all the better by the fact I can give them back when I reach my limit. 😐

I have 2, boy almost 19 and girl 15… they are the best people I know and the only thing that makes me hopeful for the future

They are and will always be the best I have done with my life

The best two things I did with my life was marrying my wife and having my kid. It's been fantastic.

No thanks, I’m vegetarian

I have six and I'm not taking any more, sorry pal!

Wanted kids, got one. She's 10 now. She's smart, independant, cuddly, hilarious, curious. She's awesome, as in I'm in awe of her. I loved every stage except the first 5 months, which I hated.
We geek out together. Helping her spread her wings is the most wonderful feeling.

My first is due in October, and we're so looking forward to it.

This might be an uncommon thing to want, but I'm looking forward to the random questions that young kids have.

I worked with a guy a bit older than me and once he told me “you know, I love my kids and would never regret them, but if I had life to live over, I don’t know I’d have them again”.

I have a three year old. He was right.

She just brought me pretend water I didn’t ask for from the water dispenser on the fridge. She used to bring me real water but I disabled it after my laptop was sitting in water one morning.

Six kids. Love them all. Teenagers are a pain though.

I'm at a pretty stable point in life so I believe becoming a father is just the next step. It's something I want to do while I still have the energy of youth.

My wife and I each brought a few, so we're at 5 total.

Two in high school, two in college, and one just graduated.

Everyone says it because it's true. It goes really fast.

No kids, no plan on having kids. Too expensive

Not a parent, nor do I want kids. I have turned into a bit of a grump because I think they're annoying. That's basically it. They're loud and sometimes get in your way, as I've seen plenty of times the kids at the apartment complex I live in do. At least the kids here are respectful enough not to mess with us adults living here, so I'm lucky.

But if anyone else wants kids, I don't really care because that's their problem.

I've always wanted the family that I didn't get growing up. One that loved and supported each other. I want to be the best Dad. someone who always makes time for his children, someone who is relentlessly supportive and empathetic. And perhaps most crucially, I want to mold my children with all the right movies and music so that they'll grow up to be cool af.

The dread of climate change, and the financial aspect of having kids is a real burden on me mentally... But, if you're gonna have kids, then you have to at least have hope that the future will get better... and, I dunno. a part of me thinks it really will. I just have trouble holding onto that part sometimes.

I was never a family person, nor want children. Got a daughter by "accident" (yes, I am stupid). Liked it to be a father, and got three boys in a row (not an accident).

How I like it? Well sometimes its hard, holidays for example aren't holidays, it's when I am full time available for my kids, going to work is nothing against this. And trouble number two is: we live in a country that hates children, but most of the time I play with these situations like: "kids are allowed to be loud", etc.

I'm nervous about the world we left for them. Should I train them for Mad Max / Terminator - scenarios or simply told them that this planet is fucked and we are all doomed especially their gen? /s

And for me, it just seems so wholesome to raise someone, and spend time with them and things, so I do want them, just not yet, as I dont have the means.

2 critters, would have had more but the wife was done, and now I am neutered.

I was raised to believe it was just part of the American dream, 2.5 kids, house, etc, and my parents had me super young(16/f and 19/m). So when I got my girlfriend pregnant at 21, I was overjoyed.

In hindsight I wish I could’ve waited maybe 4 years before making the attempt, that would’ve made things tremendously easier.

That said my kids are wonderful, especially my youngest who is quickly becoming a responsible guy, driving and about to interview for his first job at 18 and looking to get into medical school as his career path.

My oldest sadly has a lot of trouble with narcolepsy and autism that hinder him in a lot of ways, I’m trying to support him the best I can to get him to be self sustaining, but I don’t know when that will happen.

I don’t think I’ll end up with grandkids, but honestly I’m just happy to see my kids succeed. After 2 kids though I knew I was done having more, and now that’s impossible with my wife getting a hysterectomy.

I've got a couple of them.

Preference for plants about the house these days but having younglings can be handy to just to keep up with the lingo, high dpi cat memes, trying to understand why 9,000 loom bands isn't enough and interacting with local medical services in the witching hour.

I'd borrow some of various ages for a bit first to test the water, owners are often more than happy to outsource them to the point of bearing gifts and wine just for a modicum of reprieve.

Also means I get to text, and even hang out with, my ex on the regular.

I feel too young to have kids at the moment despite being in my early 20s.

Even with my age out the way, I'm not sure I feel the best mentally to take care of kids on a daily basis. It would feel unfair to the children and last thing I want to do is lash out at them.

Got my first 5 weeks ago. I'm surprised I'm so content and chill with everything although it is taxing to get so little sleep. Currently I'm just amazed how occupied the little gremlin can be with digesting and how much weight can be achieved from milk alone. Oh and also an even bigger desensitization to poop as already with a dog - super weird

Not a parent, but i don't want kids someday!

I just think I'll be ready soon, am at a pretty good spot in my life and want to have the full 9n family experience

My kid is way cooler than me and it's not fair

I never thought I'd have kids, so it's been a journey that I've been enjoying (surprisingly)