What's it like to watch Fox News these days?

In a galaxy far away...

Naboo was under an attack.

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn

Could talk the federation in

To maybe... cutting them a... little slack.

*Who's (as in, "who is")

Let me explain the situation for those who don't know:

Once, there was this girl who

Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion

And when she finally made it,

She saw

Some other girl who was better

And so she hired some guy to club her in the knee cap.

Surprise level: 0

We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.

C'mon now, don't be ungrateful. I mean... you made the conscious decision to be born, right?

What? I can't hear you over the stroad.

Three words: "Weird Al" Yankovic

He and the same guys in his band have been touring together for 40+ years, and the experience shows.

It's one of the hardest rocking shows out there. Yes, I'm serious.

Age restrictions are, and always have been, ridiculous.

Be aware: Newsweek put out a string of content before the election, making it clear that Harris was winning and that Democrats were in the clear when few other news outlets were being that optimistic. Recently, they've been putting out a lot of articles talking about how the Orange One is losing popularity. While I hope that's true, they definitely have a weird angle. Take their content with a big grain of salt.

There will soon come a time when I am only able to shop for a new car at a junkyard.