In Minecraft, obviously
How easy it would be if one of the fighters jumped off the octagon and hulk smashed diaper don? I wondered about this multiple times when watching UFC with Donald in front tire seats, but at this venue it would be most iconic.
Too bad they are mainly materialistic, self obsessed people, so they enjoy his presence and waft. But I do allow myself to daydream
Okay, hear me out:
How about replacing presidential elections with the octogon?
Every state governor would be able to challenge the POTUS for the position. And the same system can be applied downward, so a regular citizen can punch their way up into the White House.
I don't know if that would be a good system, but it would probably be less corrupt than the FPTP electoral college - not to mention a lot more fun to watch. (You can even make it pay-per-view for us non-Americans and easily fix your national debt with the proceeds :P)
I mean it could work. The proud boy types will probably all want a go first, to prove their manliness. So let them take each other out one by one, then when the last one is still recovering from the previous fight, send Bernie or AOC in to do a karate kid style KO for a guaranteed win.
This sounds like the Number 1 and Number 2 headbands from Afro Samurai.
It’s got my vote.
Send in Bernie with a steel chair for the memes.
The Trumperdump, every opponents and spectators are given strong laxatives before the fight start,
But what happens if your skin comes in contact with Stephen Miller?
Screw worm.
No telling, really, but can he even be defeated in any psychological sense? Who among us has the power to deliver a fate worse than living as Stephen Miller?
I'd gladly die if it meant getting to beat him into a bloody pulp that would have to be vacuumed up rather than picked up.
Same as touching other reptilians?
My hobby: Whenever anyone calls something an [adjective]-ass [noun], I mentally move the hyphen one word to the right.
I’m pretty sure that doesn’t really change the meaning of this one really at all.
That and there’s no hyphen (though there is an implied one between fuck and ass I guess).
As a latin American, just not US kind of American, I'll take one for the team and do this one for free. Chinga tu puta madre Esteban Miller. Le voy a hacer el amor a tu mamá puto
Fair Wait according to maga Trump is the ubermensch so he’d accept a challenge right? He wouldn’t be a coward? He’s not sweepy eepy Donny?
I would feel bad about punching an eighty year old who can’t stay awake for a full day. But Stephen Miller and his Unitary Executive Theory are the single most evil strain of thought in American politics (the country or the continent, take your pick), and I could still feel like it was a fight and not elder abuse.
If given the opportunity I'd argue it is my moral duty to punch that 80 year old as hard as possible
The "human" in me, whatever ages-long culmination of society and culture working tirelessly to reign in unthinking instinct and superstition, wants to agree with you. On the other hand "Ogg want not stop smashing 'til bad man stop gurgling." Yeah, he's decrepit and addled but he isn't Lennie hugging the bunny rabbits a bit too hard. He knows the monster that he is, completely unabashed, and I'm not sure any punishment could be too much to attone for the crimes he's undeniably guilty of. Nevermind the atrocities for which he is accused but which will also never be properly investigated.
Fully acknowledging we could make it a Line of Succession endurance match and we'd just be pummeling puppets for a moment's catharsis. Taking frustrations out on living effigies, political avatars of our actual owners. Not that it wouldn't be fun fast-tracking whiskeyleaks' face into its future Kenneth Copeland form.
Or how about this:
You defeated the president? Congratulations, you're the new president.
(Until you too get defeated sooner or later.)
My first act as president is spitefully eating giant, delicious, fluffy, syrup-soaked Belgian waffles to my death. With the simultaneous, apparent, demise of the waffle who dealt the killing blow, there is no defender ergo no challenger. Vice president Butterworth signs orders abolishing the bloodsport and God Emperor Commander President Waffles is declared the nation's leader in perpetuity.
And somehow it all seems way more rational than the last... fuck me, it's only been 16 months? Fuck.
Nah, if the sitting president dies, the next president is decided between all interested governors via Hunger Games or a tournament, whichever gets more ad revenue (with the Congress and a figurehead interim president running the country in the meantime).
Why? He’s a rapist, a fraudster, a traitor, a slumlord, racist, corrupt, violent. He doesn’t have a single redeeming quality I can think of unless I stretch to say at least he killed American imperialism with DOGE
People have already challenged Trump to all sorts of things, so I think he should have to cowardly refuse them in order. I seem to recall that Jimmy Kimmel offered to have Trump and Jasmine Crockett to both take an IQ test and see who wins.
Hell, I'll challenge Trump right here to a spelling competition.
Omg, did you know that the word dumb has a 'b' in it!? It's like watching Reading Rainbow again! /s
And us is spelled U S. What a fucking imbecile he is.
The sniveling worm-tongued used-tampon would be too much of a bitch to get in the ring
Destroy that polyp
"Everybody was fuck ass fighting"
Pretty clearly it's a stud half donkey half horse, I didn't think there was a big market for stud half donkey half horses fighting in cage matches but the cage being set up at the Whitehouse suggests otherwise. Cock fighting is so 1990, fuck ass fighting is where it's at now.
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