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[-] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 78 points 4 days ago

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice"

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,

"How much?"

Boy: "$ 750"

Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit with me again, kid.”

[-] P1k1e@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Hah I enjoyed that

[-] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 4 points 3 days ago

Been a while since I've heard a new joke. Much appreciated.

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 95 points 4 days ago

Do parents not teach their kids the value of shit these days?

My parents made sure I knew the Gameboy I got was basically equivalent to the crown jewels and I'd probably be drawn and quartered if I ever lost it

[-] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 32 points 4 days ago

I try but for awhile we were petty well off and spent over a thousand for the kids on Christmas for a few years. Well they got spoiled and the things were not taken care of. So now that were broke they have to learn the hard way about the cost of things.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 8 points 4 days ago

That sucks. This can't be easy.

[-] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 20 points 4 days ago

The trouble with kids is that there's an element of random chaos in the decision making that cannot be accounted for and it's likely the fallout from those decisions that ultimately helps them develop the palpable and visceral sense against making them as they get older. I'm sure literally trying very hard to teach them the value of things helps, they do have the capacity to listen and learn after all. But the way I see it there's always a non zero chance that some totally different and bizarre thinking process will override all of that at random moments.

[-] other_cat@piefed.zip 4 points 3 days ago

It's impulse control, I'm sure. I remember as a child myself seeing another kid trade a rareish Pokemon card for a couple honey buns.

[-] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

Murphy's law. Kids got that stuff in spades.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 8 points 4 days ago

There's loads of things that could be going on here that explain how, in kid logic, giving away an expensive valuable item could be the best course of action.

Most likely is that the kid has 2 as a result of gifts from family or whatever.

[-] Sxan@piefed.zip 7 points 4 days ago

Maybe. Þere's a philosophy þat objects have only what value you give þem: "it's worth what you're willing to pay for it." Apparently, þe child above wanted þe fidget spinner more þan a Switch. I'm conflicted about it; is owning stuff you don't want important? Is it healþy?

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

I get your bit, but know I struggle to not read any of your comments as Brian Badonde. And slightly more seriously, I'm gonna hope you've not already been told you're needlessly making life difficult for any dyslexic people using the fediverse. Up to you what you do with that information, you can do what you like after all.

That aside, that model of value is fairly intuitive for things you worked for. A kid has a kinda more difficult situation in that regard, they have no real way to work for something, practically all ownership is gifted. Then you've gotta remember for many families, something like a games console isn't even strictly owned by the kid, but rather a family possession.

[-] zourn@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

That's quite a thorney proposition.

[-] hansolo@lemmy.today 2 points 4 days ago

No.

The revolution begins at the core of how people spend their money.

[-] HertzDentalBar 38 points 4 days ago

If the kid isn't old enough to understand value of objects maybe they ain't old enough to be taking a fucking switch to school.

[-] DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 19 points 4 days ago

They very likely snuck it to school

[-] HertzDentalBar 10 points 4 days ago

Touche, They are grounded for 6 months anyways so 🤷‍♀️

[-] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 4 days ago

My brother had a friend who was not taught the value of other people's things. He would steal stuff from us, and when we told our mother, she found out where he lived and confronted his mother. The guy's mother told my mother that her kids (my brother and I) deserved to be stolen from, we let the thief into the house and were too weak to stop him. IIRC we got our stuff back, but we were told not to have that guy over anymore.

Even odder still, my brother is still friends with this guy. He lives in an RV and dresses like a Count. Cape and all. I shit you not. Dude is weird. He went to shake my hand. He was wearing white bejeweled gloves. Like rhinestones or some shit. Yes, I checked my pockets after. Had my wife check hers, too.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 days ago

Dude that's crazy. Your wife's clothes has pockets?!?

[-] Lux 3 points 4 days ago

this happened to my buddy eric

[-] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 1 points 3 days ago

My mate, Paul, went through the same thing.

[-] 7toed@midwest.social 2 points 4 days ago

Damn we all know an Eric apparently

[-] Wilco@lemmy.zip 18 points 4 days ago
[-] chaogomu@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

They actually got something in return, so the deal was better than 90% of the bloated bloviator's

[-] shirasho@feddit.online 12 points 4 days ago

I remember selling a bag of skittles in elementary school for $10. Naturally I had to give the money back, and naturally I did not get my skittles back.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

And that kids, is what it's like living with communism.

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

My dad tried that one with me as a child. It backfired, because I am now a registered communist.

this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
383 points (100.0% liked)

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