51

this shall be reported to lord baphomet

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[-] Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 30 points 2 weeks ago

goats don't chew gum...

[-] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The gum thing is honestly one of the more reasonable things he said

He also said not to drink water, and that only Pentecostal churches let people drink water in church lol

Gum is at least understandable, if not because its somehow for goats. It could be distracting and bothersome to the folks sitting around the gum chewer, so I think asking folks not to chew it is reasonable... The rest is sillier though, it's worth looking at the article cause its kinda funny

[-] OwOarchist@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

He also said not to drink water, and that only Pentecostal churches let people drink water in church lol

Oh well. Guess I'll have to drink whiskey instead.

[-] ActualGrapesTasteGreen@piefed.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago

Something something speck of dust something something plank in your own eye. I don't remember or care enough to look it up.

Dude doesn't believe what he's preaching.

[-] Photonic@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Do any of these “famous” preachers?

I don’t know who this guy is but I remember that Kenneth Copeland guy looked and behaved more like the antichrist than a devout Christian with all his scamming people out of donations for his third private jet thing.

And it’s nothing new either. Genesis already made a song about it in the 80s I think.

[-] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Genesis already made a song about it in the 80s I think.

Is that the one about how he'll be "watching you" because Jesus is always watching?

[-] CombatWombat@feddit.online 5 points 2 weeks ago

My bible said "first cast out the beam from thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote from thy brother's eye" but everyone has their own favorite

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no

Anyway

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 1 points 1 week ago

Don't make yourself look like a goat. It will tempt him.

this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
51 points (100.0% liked)

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