Your dad is gerrymandering the pizza.
Godammit.
So then this pizza must be in a red state. I heard blue states can't do that.
It would require a single olive mixed with all the pepperoni slices to really portray reality.
I came to say this. Gerrymandering is getting out of control.
"Autism didn't existed on my time"
This person dad:
I'll leave judgement to the Italian Supreme Court.
your dad is correct tbh
I'm just a tadpole. Oh well.
I'm going to start cutting my pizza like this.
Well, I for one believe that might fully live up to the Dark Lord's diabolical, maggot-ridden, ejaculation-expectoration. Well CHOSEN, sir. ❤️
:D
Like, if that pizza is just for him, I kinda dig it. But if that is cut up for the family (and assumably siblings) to share, he deserves to deal with the absolute pants-shitting screaming match over who gets which piece that is inevitable.
Probably one of those 'I'm paying for the food and roof over your heads' kind of thing. Sadly, situations like that can get pretty warped and toxic, indeed.
Not a pizza story, but I used to deliver for jimmy johns. I took an order one time to an address that was in an area with a bunch of individual doctors offices, and this address looked like it had a small lobby just like any of those doctors offices. I walked right into this family's living room while they were having some kind of get together, they asked what the hell I was doing, and i turned bright red and held up the box of sandwiches. It ended up alright; I explained myself, then they asked me to take a picture with them and joked about delivery so good they didnt even have to get off the couch. In retrospect, I realized I basically just broke and entered in a stand your ground state and got super lucky the family was chill about it
*phew*
(fist-bump)
There was a guy at a nursing home who lived on the 27th floor. Had to drive through a checkpoint with a guard, check in at the front desk, and ride the elevator to deliver the same plain cheese pizza every time. The guy was probably 95 so he always gave two quarters as as a tip, thinking this was a lot for a 20-something delivery driver. Probably didn't know that the financial crisis had made it impossible to find a real job even with a university degree, and that the extra 15 minutes dealing with his building meant I was losing money, and I couldn't use the fifty cents to buy a chicken dinner like he could when he was my age.
Yikes.
There's a lot to comment on there, but in the US at least, there truly was a period of 'greatness' from around the mid-1930's to its last gasp in the mid-1970's, much of it salvaged by FDR-style politics.
IME Boomers sadly whiff on all that all the time.
Im going to start doing this, just to piss other people off. Thank you for the idea father of random internet person.
I live to serve! :D
Next time imply you're bringing friends and he'll need to cut it into 32 pieces.
I wanna see him make 32 mini-pizzas with one (1) pepperoni on each.
LOL
thanks for that
I wanted to talk smack at you but honestly that's kind of a fun idea
You made me go and count the pepperonis on that pizza.
Next time retire all pepperonis, cut like a normal pizza and then put the pepperoni's back.
No wait..!!
I got a much-better idea! Just cut 36 different pizza-slices around each individual pepperoni, and then a few more around that barren wasteland.
NOW you can sell it as like 50 unique pizzas, right? :D
What about overlapping pepperoni?
No next time take all the pepperoni off after he does this, cut them in half with little scissors, then put them back
edit five hours and no one has acknowledged my pun? my pun must go acknowledged.
Your dad needs to step up his frozen pizza game. He needs to remove all the pepperoni before baking then rearrange them so he can slice the pizza without cutting any of them.
Bloody-hell mate, it's a DEAL!
Regarding this pizza, I get it. I really do. But I feel like I would learn how to sharpen a pizza cutter before I would decide to do this.
Are you the same person who posted this exact pic to reddit in 2023?
I think with the quotes in the title and the "(as seen at the evil empire, but I just had to liberate it)" they are trying to imply that they took it from Reddit.
Absolutely right, thank you.
I also stole another one from Reddit 2-3 weeks ago. (remember that amazing soy-sauce dish?)
Whaddya, need me to watermark it for you, @Watermark710@piefed.social ?
Based
Big Triangle doesn't want you to know you can cut pizza this way, wake up
i do this, too, sometimes.. but i don't make rounded cuts--that's just all kinds of messed up.
Aside from the top 2 slices which are a fucking tragedy, this honestly doesn't look too bad. Most slices have 3 to 4 pieces of pepperoni, so the area is kinda close and the shapes aren't horrible to hold.
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