228

Say you were a guardian or parent and get to decide when a child can get a phone or use a computer and get internet with it. If you wish you can also install software and change router settings to what you see fit.

Some parents decide to forbid the internet completely, others are more relaxed. Some go the helicopter route, and some do not care whatsoever what their kid does online.

What is your policy on letting a child use the internet?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] gwl 14 points 6 days ago

You couldn't stop them if you tried, which instead will result on them using dodgy methods to access it, which puts them at even higher risk than if you gave them unrestricted access.

Teach them, teach them that the internet is both fucking terrifying and fucking terrific

[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yeah, deliberately view the pain Olympics and one man one jar with them.

Give them the trauma they were looking for.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Strider@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

Education education education.

Explain how the internet works. Explain companies. Explain evil intent and malicious behavior.

Imo, if you put your child under surveillance that's not the right way. If bad things happen despite good education, fine, introduce limits and guardrails.

Don't do things you wouldn't want for yourself. Be consistent.

Basically, do good parenting.

[-] tristynalxander@mander.xyz 5 points 5 days ago

As much as I hate the idea of exposing kids to the ideologies and mass propaganda of the internet, I hate the idea of incompetent adults even more. Plus, exposure builds resistance to some extent. How are they gonna learn to think for themselves if they haven't seen a wide range of views? Also, do you want your child to fail out of college the first time they play a video game? Or only start learning to code in their twenties? if ever since they won't think of a computer that way.

No way, if I was gonna have a brat, the little bastard would be damn competent at everything.

[-] pirate2377@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago

I wouldn't allow them to have a phone at all until they're around 12 to 14 (just like my parents). When it comes to the internet on a computer, the same thing would apply, but they can when supervised. If possible, their only web browser on their internet device will have uBlock Origin installed with custom block lists to prevent them from accessing websites they aren't supposed to. I would also like software (whether I'd have to program it if it doesn't exist or not) to prevent them from using their devices at bedtime. Not a father, but those are the basics of what I'd imagine I do. Expect one last thing: Roblox is completely out of the question. I don't care how much they beg. It's a predator nightmare so it would be completely banned

[-] Nalivai@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

As someone whose parents attempted to deny technology, this is an excellent way to make sure that your kid has a secret life that you know nothing about, can't influence at all, and you'll be the last person they come for help to if needed.

[-] erev@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

This is unfortunately true. Despite having an IT admin as a dad, it only taught me how to more effectively circumvent censorship. I went as far as using the 3DS browser to access stuff I wasn't supposed to

[-] Nalivai@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Mine were more hardware-oriented, so I had to learn soldering early on to get replacements for all the cables they were withholding (terrible firehazard now that I remember it), but there was no opportunity for me to learn safety when it came to online, and boy was I close from falling into some unpleasant rabitholes.

[-] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

No access until teenagers. If it was like when I was a kid probably younger but it's so fucked rn

[-] utopiah@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

crontab, it's enough to :

  • kill any add during specific period
  • accumulate usage per app
  • check if tabs are opened

and it's pretty straighforward to configure, e.g.

* 8-17 * * 1-5 killall SlayTheSpire && date >> ~/shame
# prevents from playing during weekday working hours

or for accumulation (which can be reset daily, weekly, etc by simply deleting the minutes file)

pgrep mpv && >> mpv_minutes; if [ $(wc -l mpv_minutes) -gt 1000 ]; then echo beyond threshold; fi

That works also for turning up/down network interfaces.

PS: I use this on myself. I'm not a child but I don't have perfect self control. It works.

[-] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 6 points 6 days ago

ublock origin, no ads, only libretube or freetube

FOSS

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

I have an 11 year old son. He has neutered Internet that can do normal searches on. An hour budget a day for games. An hour for YouTube. Other than that he can talk to his friends on Discord or text. I check his Discord every now and then. He only talks to his buddies or my gaming buddies.

[-] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

Child up to age 13 - internet access via PC tower in a public space. No phones, no tablets. I log into router settings to restrict internet access to their machine, (mac address,) when they should be sleeping. I use router to block websites, no FB or instagram. Hell, I will change the wifi password and make them prove they have done their homework/chores to unlock the password for the evening. Ages 14-16 - give them their own pc/tablet. Router still restricts website access, but I stop restricting the times they can access internet. Age 16 - get them their own phone. Presumably I have been talking to them about responsible use of the internet all along, but I reiterate all of the key lecture points. Use router and parental controls to monitor what they are looking at without restricting it. Discuss anything problematic. This is a stage in a young person's life where they should be learning to take personable responsibility for their fuckups within reason, so I am more willing to let them experiment and make mistakes within reason. 18+ - no restrictions. Consider transitioning them to their own cell service that they pay for on their own, so long as it's something they can reasonably afford with their own wages, assuming they have their own wages.

[-] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 2 points 5 days ago

your kid will be reading phrack and circumvent all of that and have 20 secret devices by 12

[-] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

Props to my children if they are able to source and fund their own devices. Props to my children if they are able to circumvent parental controls I have set up. I did plenty of stuff as a kid to circumvent rules and never got caught. I will throw no shade at a child enterprising enough to figure out how to get what they want. That is a smart kid.

[-] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Block every site except itch.io until they turn 13, so as to recreate my childhood on addictinggames.com

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] Malyca@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago

Only with my eyeballs in presence. My son is autistic and barely verbal. He also has combination ADHD. I wish I could forbid the tablet entirely but it just doesn't work with a child facing these challenges. For example, he can't sit still through dinner so if we go out, he uses tablet until the food comes. He's obsessed with Legos. All the content he watches is Lego builds. He watches that on YouTube kids with me present to make sure he doesn't slip through the cracks. My eldest is 19 now and we let him access the internet unabated, that was a huge mistake I highly recommend people know exactly what their kids are watching and you should restrict traffic to safe content only.

[-] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 days ago

Electronics are for amusement. If he isn't having fun (fussing), time to do something else.

We use it together and communicate during. Zombie mode --> time to do something else.

Great firewall of my house (whitelist). I'm sure he'll figure out how to bypass it one day, and hopefully by then I've raised him well enough to process the horrors of the open web.

[-] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 3 points 6 days ago

PLEASE abandon this mindset

"electronics" are more than toys

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Limited time and very limited access to content, only content that is age appropriate.

Use the device’s parental controls to limit apps, downloading, purchases, sites, hours available and total time allowed. Doesn’t matter if it’s a phone, tablet, or PC. LAN parental controls if available as a secondary layer of site blocking and overall internet blocking at internet curfew time.

Been doing this for years. It’s a must. Parents are responsible for limits on mobile devices and content. Having the software do the limits is far, far easier than physically demanding the phone from the kid, shutting it off, or looking over their shoulder to see what they’re using it for.

[-] EuroNutellaMan@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

No unsupervised access to any techno-gizmo until they're like 7 or 8, besides a dumb phone to call me or mom or watching me play/do things, maybe play together sometimes or limit it to formative things. Ain't no hypothetical child of mine gonna be raised by an iPad and cocomelon, and since I don't necessarily trust other parents to raise their kids decently I would get them a dog or 2 to play and bond with.

Then, once they start being old enough I will give them their own tower computer, obviously with Linux, privacy-redirects, limited access to the internet (I'm mostly gonna let them access games, wikipedia and stuff that is formative) and their access to YouTube is gonna be via FreeTube with channels I think they'd benefit from watching as already subscribed (plus whatever interest I know they have). Throughout the time I will be teaching them things, indulging their curiosity and gradually explain, reveal and open up things to them. Of course I'd also secretly monitor what they're doing, not to judge but to make sure they're safe, until I know they can safely navigate on their own. As for phones they're getting something locked down with some custom ROM like /e/OS or whatever and just the bare minimum they need to function (Signal to talk to me and mom, calendar, alarms, etc). No social media for them, they at most get to see some of it via privacy frontends. I want them to grow up in a way that the internet is a place they can leave.

Once they've teenagers and understand things I'd start gradually letting them do their own things and gradually giving them more access, allow them to make mistakes and be sure to be there for them to learn rather than just punish. The goal is that by 18, when they'll have full access, they're digitally literate and can safely navigate on their own, or at least be as careful as 18yos can be. At that point they'll also have to gradually start paying for their stuff on their own.

[-] BeardededSquidward 5 points 6 days ago

I'd wait until they're older, 7-8 years of age at least. Then I'd make sure they learn how it functions in some capacity and not just operating it mindlessly.

No social media at all. Heavily curated Youtube, and honestly at the end of the day I'd rather them play outside under supervision than spend all day online. The internet as it is does not go well with developing minds.

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago

children under 12 should not have one, it has been shown they actually have problems reading and writing in HS, and doing math. 13+ they can have it, assuming they arnt trying to do something illegal, like stealing credit cards and buying games or whatever.

[-] pirate2377@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago

Would you allow them unrestricted access to the internet at the age of 13?

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 10 May 2026
228 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

39577 readers
1362 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS