"No cap fr fr"

Or just improve your vocabulary.

Isn't that just figuratively?

I agree, the bastardization of Literally is one of my vocabulary pet peeves, along with Crescendo.

In German we have multiple different words that mean "literally", not all of which can be used for emphasis. There are the phrases "im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes" ("in the truest sense of the word") as well as "etwas wörtlich nehmen" ("to take something literally"), both of which are usually not used for emphasis, presumably also because they don't nearly fit into the grammatical construction of a sentence in a way that would produce emphasis. Then there is "buchstäblich" (roughly "letterish"), which means the same thing as literally and can be used in both ways, as it's an adverb. But then there is "wortwörtlich" (roughly "word-wordly"), which is also an adverb and grammatically fits into the same position, but I've never heard it being used for emphasis.

Language is weird.

Exactly

Illiteratly

"Literally" used as an intensifier dates back to the 1700s, but the prescriptivist controversy about it is very recent. People can understand that a word can have different meanings and have different uses. Except for prescriptivists, apparently.

Once I found out that that the definition of literally has literally been changed to "literally, but sometimes figuratively", I've switched to objectively and subjectively when describing things, which aren't quite the same but I literally don't have a word anymore that means literally.

So instead of literally you could use objectively. I like that no one is going to use objectively as slang because it's kind of a clunky, obtuse word that doesn't literally roll off the tongue.

For real

"Unequivocally"

Then that word will just get used sarcastically.

Actually, though.

The correct answer is to make incorrect usage of the word "literally" socially unacceptable. Be fucking mean about it.

Or just stop widely accepting the dual meaning.

I would argue that, uses of literally, in the literal sense, in common language, is rarely used, any more. Mostly because, If you have to add "believe me" at the end of your sentence, it makes you seem sus. And "literally", in common language, is usually added to the end, in the same way, the sarcastic, and facetious, presentations use. So we've adopted different signifiers, mostly, anyway. People usually say, "you are not going to believe what happened to me today ". Even the sarcastic etc uses are dying out, in a time when, extreme positions aren't, easily taken at face value for being over the top, or, easily definable as sarcasm etc, which is what sarcasm relies heavily on. I think, all the extreme stuff going on, is making it almost impossible to even use literally, in almost either application. I'm sad! It's such a fun word to say.