"You are not acting like the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be."

Guaranteed to slug the inner child of, at least, three or four generations. Might have diminishing returns at the extremes (brainwashed boomers and brainrot zoomers) but should still hit pretty hard on those who grew up watching Fred Rogers and are capable of some amount of introspection.

"I say this with the greatest respect...."

"you're the sharpest bulb in the chandelier"

There’s a great artist that sells stuff at our local ren-faire; I bought a fridge magnet that says “I saw thee, and thought my day unwell.” It’s illuminated like an old manuscript and depicts a slim greyhound tossing his cookies.

"If she was a spice, she would be flour" - Louise Belcher

Have the day you deserve!

You should be paying for the Oxygen. Yes, that Oxygen.

"You look so generic I got a deja vu the first time we met."

I keep recycling this one but it's hard not to. I have so few good ideas!

The truth. The reason you'd want to insult them as a direct pointed criticism.

Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say "eyebrows" in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been

I love how you don't let facts influence your opinion.

"You're irrelevant to me."

He only has two tools and they are both screwdrivers

I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.

It's really hard to underestimate you.

From my friend - You're the load your mom should have swallowed.

No one could possibly have a higher opinion of you than I have.

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.

A waste of space

Too offensive for lemmy.ml

I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I've been using that for people who are completely useless.

You are the proud owner of not a single redeeming quality.

I work with an older lady who hits people with "you're so pretty" when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.

Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).

A few beers short of a six pack

The classic southern "Bless your heart"

I can read it to you all day but unfortunately I cannot understand it for you.

I have to thank the one and only James May for introducing me to “you witless dishcloth”

I bet you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.

You two make quite the wit.

Thick as mince

You make this world not worth saving.

Did your mother have any children that lived?