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36" tall, 2-ton creature
3 feet tall, 4000 pounds?
op is dense fella
He's a cheese wheel!
They called 'em the Lead Pancake in high school.
Girthy.
You remember the song “George Washington, George Washington 3 feet tall and 4000 pounds”
George Washington by Brad Neely.
Washington, Washington. six-foot-eight, weighs a fucking ton (VIEWER WARNING: He'll save children, but not the British children.)
Also later in the song:
- "six-foot-twenty, fucking killing for fun",
- "12 stories high, made of radiation"
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Maybe some sort of clonal shrub, like an aspen but shorter? XD
Thanks for the correction!
Look, look. Look, this is what I was asked to build. Eighteen inches. Right here, it specifies eighteen inches. I was given this napkin, I mean...
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At first yes. But then you'd be zipping around it because it is soooo slooooow
Unless you're my geriatric dog, in which case, you refuse to move no matter what the huge animal near you is doing, and just give them a hurt look when they walk into you.
How dare you hurt that poor sweet baby! Everyone knows that hallways, door frames, and kitchens are made for lounging!
Haha that Username brings me back
The was a corgi my friends family had, a former show dog, he would intentionally lay behind someone who is standing in a hallway or other passage. He knew he would get tripped over, because he also knew he'd get affection and apology cuddles after.
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I don't think my cat knows that he's faster than me, he is very dumb XD
He just cannot comprehend your lack of agility and reflexes.
I guess "serious injury from stumbling on level ground" isn't something cats really have to worry about XD
For a real answer, they’re claiming the space. They’re demonstrating that they can control it and you
This person knows how to cat.
Square-cube law, mate. Cats are far stronger per gram than us. It would be more like us living with a 3 meter orc that weighed 500kg. Not great, but not terrible. I'll run the numbers and get back to you.
Cats are reeeal dumb animals, but people think they are smart because they are pretty.
They are relatively smart, but they think like cats not like people and people love to anthromorphize their pets.
Thanks, i guess...
Housecats, not khajit. Y'all are smarter and uglier ^before^ ^Skyrim^ ^at^ ^least^
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If smart means 'thinks like a human' then I guess so..
here, smart means "aware enough to not run under a titan's feet", a test cats fail to meet regularly.
they're oblivious little derps
You're whiffing on the point. That's not usual behavior for stray or wild cats, it's a specialised behavior that involves people and other animals they feel are 'safe.' Not an intelligence issue.
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I dunno, any time I watch a movie with giants or giant creatures, people are innevitably running around by their feet. I don't think humans are that smart either.
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The fact that they understand dignity hides the fact that they din't understand much in general
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This is why my chickens terrify me. They used to be 25 feet tall, just a handful of dozens of million years ago.
Fucking murder machines.
I once stepped directly in the middle of my cats back walking down stairs. Instead of putting my weight down I fell backward, landing on my elbow a couple stairs down. All my weight. It took months to be able to lean on my elbow without pain. Pretty sure it was fractured.
Mine also try to kill me on the stairs. As soon as I start to walk up, they run up a few stairs ahead of me and then stop like assholes. Especially in the dark. Thankfully they don't hang out on the stairs at other times so I know its going to happen because I hear them.
I’ve started walking up them very slowly, so now they continue the game in the hallways and are guaranteed to get kicked at least once, at which point I say “by now you know I can’t see in the dark, you deserved that.” Rather than rewarding them with apology attention.
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Humans are to cats as cars are to humans: similar difference in weight and size, similar (if not greater) danger—but we walk around them because we’re used to them and we think we can predict them well enough. And because we’re often going to the same places.
But cars freak me out..
The only reason I walk around them is because I have to, not because I want to
Finally, a good answer!
It's not your home.
It's the cat's home.
You are its servant and caretaker, and it is training you.
" inches - two syllables ' feet - one syllable
- 36 inches is about the height of a human 2 year old.
- Assuming average weight of a 2 year old is 30lbs.
- Assuming average body mass density is the same as water (1g/cm^3 ).
Then average volume of a 2 year old is:
(30lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) * cm^3 /1g = 13607.772cm^3
- Assuming volume is constant, but weight increased to 2 US tons
Then final creature density is:
(2 * 2000lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) / 13607.772cm^3 = 133.333...g/cm^3
That is about 6 times denser than the heaviest measured element and a little over half the density of the solar core.
I sincerely hope my math is right, but this is a shitpost and I didn't have paper so :shrug_emoji_1:
Knowledge is being able to do the math.
Wisdom is realizing OP made a mistake with his numbers
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My cat is always trying to trip me. Then again, she looks and acts like one of her parents was an African wildcat straight from the savanna. Even when she’s being purry and cuddly laying in my nook, she keeps trying to lovingly bite my face off and when I play with her, she does backflips several feet into the air trying to catch whatever toy I’m animating for her. Little creature is half wild!
If your species showed affection by rubbing against others and you trusted the creature not to step on you, and you were trying to act all sweet to beg for food tho...
You're trying to apply logic to creatures who possess none. They know two things in this scenario; 1, they are faster than you. 2, they are faster than you. They are not thinking creatures. Accept them for their stochasticity.
Edit: it makes me sad that I upset at least 2 people with this bit so quickly.
Edit 2: 4! :(
Hum, my orange braincell got hit by a car, pelvis shattered, and pieced together and bandaged up in another room, wanted to get to his people having dinner. So he used the wall as support to get to us. They are thinking beings with problem-solving capabilities.
This legit hurt to read. Hope your orange homie makes it out the other side.
Eh, was years ago. He's healthy and happy.
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this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2026
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