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[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I've got some hairy man boobs and some free time honey.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Does time honey come from time bees?

[-] bacon_saber@fedia.io 4 points 3 days ago

Yes, and it can also be used to catch time flies

[-] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I got some boobs and have some free honey time, hairy man.

Clever.

How’s that’s working out for you, being clever?

[-] lime@feddit.nu 21 points 3 days ago
[-] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago

This is why I love eating pussy, its zero calorie sexy sashimi.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 4 points 3 days ago

i don't know who told you that, sashimi is most definitely not zero calories.

[-] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

I think you missed this one bud.

I guess you do need to watch your sodium if you have high blood pressure, but I think grool does fall under fda guidelines to be labeled calorie free.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 1 points 3 days ago

sashimi is typically not slimy either, so i think you need to pick a better food metaphor.

[-] petrol_sniff_king 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't know who told you that, but pussy is absolutely not zero calories.

This is something that will bite you in the ass once you turn 40, and believe me, you'll be wishing you'd had some sense when you were younger. I nearly ruined my life over it, but the diet I've been on since 2050 has probably saved it—the results do speak for themselves. I will admit to some non-alcoholic kinds being okay. Even so, always remember your guiding principles: Pussy is the enemy of the gym, bro. Avoid it at all costs.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 5 points 3 days ago

I mean, I wouldn't say no

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago
[-] mohammed_alibi@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Fun fact, "boba" is slang for big breasts...

[-] socsa@piefed.social 11 points 3 days ago

That doesn't seem sanitary

[-] pitiable_sandwich540@feddit.org 5 points 3 days ago

Not the first fishy smelling thing I wanna eat when seeing boobs...

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 days ago

That other one isn't supposed to smell fishy

[-] GarboDog@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Mam, please put your boobs away, we’re trying to eat some fucn sushi

[-] OwOarchist@pawb.social 8 points 3 days ago

I think you may have just invented the next version of Hooters.

[-] Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago

i mean Nyotaimori is already an existing thing

[-] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Using the chopsticks from the Chinese place they got the eggroll from.

Although some of my favorite sushi spots are clearly not authentic. Gold horses on the walls, mixed genre Asian menus with only English text, punny restaraunt names.

[-] SharkWeek 2 points 3 days ago

One of my favourite sushi restaurants was run by Chinese people, but they put effort into making the place feel authentic

They closed down during covid, though :-(

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I dunno. hard to judge by name, like I love this place named Jim's. they have some of the best chinese food i've ever had (and i grew up eating chicken feet on the streets of san francisco, i know chinese food).

this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2026
389 points (100.0% liked)

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