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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by EherVielleicht@feddit.de to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[-] intoner@lemm.ee 88 points 2 years ago

Look. It's pointless to compare yourself to others. Everyone does things at their own pace, on their own time. Who cares if someone has lost their virginity before you have? Genuinely, it doesn't fucking matter. Life your own life, and speak your own truth.

[-] Hyggyldy@sffa.community 47 points 2 years ago

The virginity is less of an issue than 31 years of loneliness. Like, people say you don't need a relationship to be happy and that's true, but it really doesn't fucking help in the slightest. It's just a pointless platitude from people who don't understand the pain.

[-] jabberati@social.anoxinon.de 10 points 2 years ago

Having been in a long distance relationship during COVID, with times where I couldn't meet my girlfriend for 12 and 18 months, I know just how the loneliness crushed me and how much happier I am now we're married and living together.

Oof yeah. My husband and I shared a house, but we rarely talked or saw each other during that time because he works in healthcare. We lived in separate parts of the house and didn't even observe holidays.

[-] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago

Men need to be learn to be emotionally intimate with their friends instead of expecting that out of a partner. Loneliness should not be synonymous with being single.

[-] Hyggyldy@sffa.community 10 points 2 years ago

Much like people who think relationship and sex are synonymous, you are vastly oversimplifying the range of human relationships.

[-] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

No, I'm not. You do not need a romantic or sexual relationship to fulfill intimacy needs.

[-] Confuzzeled@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Maybe you don't but many people want a romantic and sexual relationship. There are many things that we don't need to survive but make our lives vastly more enjoyable. I've had long term relationships and times where I've been single and while I enjoy my own company and the freedom being single I do miss the closeness of a romantic relationship. Friendships are great but it's not the same.

[-] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I do miss the closeness of a romantic relationship. Friendships are great but it’s not the same.

Get good at being closer to your friends.

Virginity is such a pointless concept in the first place.

[-] DessertStorms@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago

Came here to say this and share this

[-] ComradeKhoumrag@infosec.pub 1 points 2 years ago

I would like to see the width of this distribution. statistics without error bars are MEANINGLESS!

[-] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 years ago

Virginity is fake and made up.

Also sex is fun but not some revelatory experience(but what do I know, Im just a lesbian, a group which famously has many more orgasms than average), eo not base your self esteem on having it or not having it.

It also isn't a substitute for intimacy, which when I talk to people who are weird about not having sex, I see them conflate needing a hug or to express their feelings with having sex.

Rant over.

[-] Bongles@lemm.ee 25 points 2 years ago

To be fair, Someone that has "more orgasms than average" saying not to worry about it is like a rich guy saying money doesn't buy happiness.

[-] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

No, it is like a rich guy saying "Money doesn't make you more mature, spiritually enlightened or a better person"

[-] eldain@feddit.nl 6 points 2 years ago

Thank you for your rant.

To add: Your SO is not a replacement for a social network. Don't hunt for the one, place people you click with at all distance levels as you get to know them. A healthy social network leads to healthy relationships.

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I've heard that if you make it to 30, you become a wizard! Don't be upset you're a virgin, be glad that you're still on the path to wizardry; for once you've left the path, you cannot return. Many a mortal have become enamored with animalistic rituals; casting aside their true potential in exchange for the temporary satisfaction of fulfilling their carnal desires. You, however, may still become a powerful wizard; one who'll shock and awe the fools who so eagerly left the path of knowledge and metaphysical enlightenment.

[-] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

Hi I made it to 30 and no wizard powers yet.

… Wait is anticheat on? I got a hacked client that automatically disabled my desire for partnered “fun time” so it made the grind to 30 with that status effect a lot easier.

Did I miss out on wizard powers?!

[-] trollblox_@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago

fuck im 17 for only 9 more months wtf do I do

[-] Pringles@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

Jokes aside, it's all about confidence. If anything, fake it 'till you make it. I was terrible with girls for a long time until I stopped caring and just went for it. Then I was amazed how easy it was.

[-] rotopenguin@infosec.pub 9 points 2 years ago

That is excellent good advice that everyone should follow and implement fully.

pic unrelated

[-] flying_sheep@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago

Stop sweating it. Don't focus on it when meeting people. It'll happen, and it'll be better if you come to it by being an enjoyable human being.

[-] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 years ago

I only have 5 months now.

[-] ComradeKhoumrag@infosec.pub 1 points 2 years ago

Masturbate furiously until you fuck someone

On a more serious note, there is something good about not getting that need satisfied. Everyone's different, but I have noticed a tendency in people that get that need satisfied very early on, and those that don't.

There are definitely exceptions to this, but generally speaking, I have noticed those that get that need met have less excuses to grow, or sometimes grow so much with the person they love, that they end up losing a bit of themself

Outside of my own experiences, there's a YouTube channel I found recently "HealthyGamerGG", really cool stuff there

[-] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 year ago

So... how are you doing so far?

[-] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

Was 23 before I lost mine. Wasn't even fun.

[-] rotopenguin@infosec.pub 4 points 2 years ago

Hell yeah 🧙‍♂️

[-] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
698 points (100.0% liked)

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