Long they grow, precious, long and strong… but polished, yes. Filed smooth so they don’t snag on the rockses. Smeagol takes care of his toesies.
I kinda figured I wasn't the only one to think Gollum when I initially saw this, but it's good to have it confirmed with poetry such as this.
Do you just never wear shoes? O.o
Florida Special, flip-flops year round
Like, extra long flip flops? Or do the nails just poke out an inch (2.54cm) from the front?
They make a click-clack sound whey they hit the floor before the flip flop, like dog nails
Or even just socks? I can't imagine those aren't sharp enough to ruin a pair of fresh socks within a few days at most
If it's not ai or Photoshop, they did them for the shitpost and removed them soon after, in pretty sure.
Originally, long nails were a way to indicate that you could avoid manual labor long enough to grow out them out. Essentially the lawn of the hands, opulent keratin. Long toenails indicating that you never even need to walk, and that your sexual partners will die of a staph infection, are an interesting extension.
I've seen a few people with talons like this in Florida but most places it's not practical or socially acceptable to wear flip flops for all occasions and year round. You're not getting those things in normal shoes.
As someone who wore nothing but superhero flip-flops through the entirety of high school in the Great Lakes region, yeah it was neither practical nor particularly socially acceptable. But they flashed lights when I walked. I never had light-up shoes as a little kid, and these were marketed for “kids at heart” so, tradeoff. 🤷🏻
The pinkies remind me heavily of naked mole rats.
Do you think if I sucked on one it would look like I'm making out with a naked mole rat?
You guys should all party together.
I thought Pinky was a rat, but apparently he's a mouse. In either case, not a mole rat.
Also, wow, there's so much more information than I anticipated in that article.
Even Gollum cut's his nails

I think they're just worn from all the walking/climbing he did.
I'm somewhat disturbed by the fact he doesn't pick and rip the nails off.
This is what you see with elderly people in nursing homes. Something I wish I didn't know.
That's kinda sad. They should be taken care of.
To be fair, the nails in the pic are clearly taken care of. They're horrible, but they took effort to get like this.
A lot of elderly folks who are still living independently go to a podiatrist for nail trims since they lack the flexibility to do it themselves. This does happen in nursing homes, just not as often, especially if the person isn't capable of requesting it themselves.
Shoes
Wanting to be able to walk?
ew
😳🤮
Real life Argonian?
Imagine stubbing your toe with nails like that. The entire toe nail will be ripped clean off.
The expectation of shoes
As a proud foot fetishist, ewwwww. I ain't sucking those toes.
Would get them, just to clack them like the velociraptors in Jurassic park
I dated her, her dinners always had the freshest fish.
"Give it to us raw and wriggling" 🤤
im not a cat
Cats can retract theirs. We're not so lucky.
This fish grabbing sounds like quite a useful talent.
Useful talons...
Socks would be a nightmare.
It doesn't need socks to be a nightmare
My awareness of the existence of nail clippers. My desire to interact with other members of the human race. My stairs are steep and narrow.

Squidward have you ever seen more lovely French tips?
Why do those look so damned aquatic?? Like, I joke about my wife being cold blooded, but for this person I'd believe it.
Bro how does someone like this even wear a shoe
When you wake up in a pool of blood because your girl accidentally ran her toes down your leg in the middle of the night.
I put this in the same category as women who grow nails so long they can barely wipe their own ass.
She has large talons!
🤢
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