I'm not even allowed to write things down, so it's like: pray your brain let's you retrieve those memories. I remember actively thinking intensely about something, and watching in horror as details slip away in real time.

EDIT: I have a paranoid amount of notes at home, but sorting through it and finding what's useful os a challenge on it's own.

After dealing with this and executive dysfunction during a few years of extreme anxiety i have so much more patience for this. Like not remembering my name didn't even phase me when i went on a date with someone who was upfront about their ADHD.

I'm going through something similar with my parents. The frustrating part hasn't been the forgetting, it's more not trying to work around it.

I keep telling them to write things down if there are verbal plans being made, will remind them etc. then sometimes they just never do even if I chase a bit, or they'll write down the wrong thing or the plans will have changed and I'm not told and it just causes a whole mess.

This is only tangentially related to the post, but when I go on holiday or similar, I often find myself stressing out about whether I forgot to lock the door. To help me to remember that I did it, I will do something silly when locking up. Last time, I got on my knees and booped the door handle with my nose. The time before that, I think I did the macarena. It can be anything, as long as it's distinctive enough to stick out in my memory. That requirement is why it only works for occasional things, such as holidays.

It's small, but it's something I'm really proud of thinking of, because it helps in a definite, concrete way.

If someone says to me "tell me about your breakfast yesterday" my mind is blank and I will simply shrug.

If someone asks me "how were your pancakes yesterday morning?" I will reply "pretty good, could have used more butter and a pinch of salt."

Me not bringing up topics isn't some Machievellian plot of mine to hoard data; I simply cannot easily recall events unless prompted so by others dropping me hints.

There is information in there *gestures at brain* but you have to tease it out with outside stimulus.

I have todo notes everywhere, and my desktop is highly deterministic in window placement to ease the burden of my mind recalling the multitude of things needed for me to work and function.

It's not personal that I don't recall every family holiday event, my mind just simply doesnt work that way

Before my ADHD diagnosis I went crazy when I forgot something and someone asked me "why?" Well, actually I still do but at least I have an explanation.

what do you mean "why"? do people forget on purpose? I know it was important, it was also important to me.

This is so fucking true.

I feel awful when I forget something someone told me, or even simple things like names; but I have very little control over it. I perform memory exercises and try to write important things down; but that's not always practical or effective.

Making me feel worse doesn't fix my memory being shit; it just strains relationships even more. Be kind. We're trying.

It's so frustrating. I know things are missing. But no one takes it super seriously. Hhh.

This is a tough one because people being forgetful is often due to lack of attentiveness as well. Took me years to realize that my spouse isn't forgetful--he just doesn't really pay attention to begin with, even though he would say that he does.

Anyway, it's always better to just move on and not make a big deal out of it regardless.