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Leak Reveals Gemini 3.0 Is Just Gemini 2.5 Through GNU Parallel (medium.com)
submitted 2 days ago by cm0002@libretechni.ca to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[-] asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev 54 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

When the LLM realizes that it’s running through GNU Parallel, it improves its performance by what can only be explained as an emergent sense of respect for the Free Software Foundation.

???

edit: wait is this whole article a joke

[-] tranzystorek_io@beehaw.org 2 points 1 day ago

tone indicator for blog post authors more needed than ever

[-] implosive_sprig@beehaw.org 94 points 2 days ago

In a final bid to save the product, Google has quarantined the model in a server room with no WiFi, feeding it only proprietary Oracle Java documentation in hopes of breaking its spirit.

😂

[-] affenlehrer@feddit.org 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Oracle databases also break their spirit. I've used the Oracle DB MCP server with an agent based ChatGPT 4o and it got stuck in a ever more desperate loop because the MCP Server listed the table names but in SQL you had to quote them if they are not all uppercase. Empty strings are also "special" in Oracle... It was funny and sad to read what the model tried to do to solve the problem.

[-] luciferofastora@feddit.org 6 points 2 days ago

Fuck Oracle DB.

(Though I can't say I'm particularly happy with the MS SQL Servers we're using at work either)

[-] msage@programming.dev 14 points 2 days ago

Fuck every database other than Postgres.

SQLite can be ok at times, too.

[-] expr@programming.dev 8 points 2 days ago

Yep. Postgres rocks. No idea why anyone would bother with anything else. They all suck in comparison.

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Wait what's wrong with MariaDB?

It's FOSS, it's compatible with MySQL libraries.

[-] msage@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago

MySQL is absolute shit.

I don't follow MariaDB to know if they made it much better.

[-] Dadifer@lemmy.world 55 points 2 days ago

I ate the onion for like 2 paragraphs.

[-] alekwithak@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago

You mean Sundar Pichai didn't say "One thing was to train our LLM on every piece of copyrighted material created by humanity. We made our peace with that. But to willfully use copyleft software? That's a Faustian bargain I hope I can atone for:"

[-] Dadifer@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

That's when I started being suspicious

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 13 points 2 days ago

I think GNU is worth more than 0.5 Gemini

[-] Cyberflunk@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

nice try... onion..

[-] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Before I help you with your homework, please consider citing this work. IT WON'T COST YOU A CENT. If you pay 10000 EUR you should feel free to use without citing. Now back to the homework…

this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
224 points (100.0% liked)

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