Geez, disconnect the trains so you can hit both lines at the same time, obviously.

I use the lever to kill the train driver.

I take the square root of all the negative real numbers and kill in an entirely new dimension.

Like everything else in this holographic universe we live in, I’d just close my eyes and believe the bodies I’m trampling are imaginary.

I remember seeing a science show on PBS where the presenter explained how there are different infinities by using set theory and the integers/reals. That was mind-blowing at the time.

I reject the premise since there will only ever exist a finite number of people. They will all die. One day the last human will die.

Can I group the people into groups of 1, then 2, then 3 and so forth? When the trolley is done with the killing, it will have killed -1/12 people.

I would pull the lever and then steal a bus and knock the trolley off of the track, killing the least amount of people possible.

sort them so you kill one person first, then 2, then 3, then 4...

there are more real numbers than integers though

"smallest"?