706
oui oui (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 134 points 4 days ago

Violence baguettes violence.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 142 points 4 days ago
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 54 points 4 days ago

Why modify it? .... a good hard crusty baguette is deadly enough. If you crack it just right, the sharp edges are hard enough to cut open skin and flesh.

[-] Ryktes@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago

Shit, you get one with a good enough crust and it'll club a motherfucker into the ground like a fence post.

A baguette becomes a lethal blunt instrument about 7 seconds after you buy it.

[-] SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 4 days ago

"The food here is..."

THWACK THWACK THWACK

"...weapons-grade."

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Take two baguettes. Cut one in half and carve a slot inside of it. Carve the other with a protrusion in the form of a knife to go into the slot. Harden in the oven while using garlic butter with fine herbs to create a razor edge. Sharpen with a whetstone.

Then you can not only stab cops but soften it up in soup and eat the evidence.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 days ago

mmmmm ... radicalization and violence never sounded so delicious

Cop gets stabbed in the arm .... 'OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN STABBED ... ???? .... ooooo, garlic butter!'

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

So you can dual wield.

Baguette.

Breaguette knife.

Akimbo

[-] borokov@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I know a guy that nearly lost its thumb because of a baguette. A piece of the crust stuck under its nail. He didn't paid attention at first, but it begins to become infected and necrotic. Ended up in the hospital for surgery and antibiotics.

Never underestimate the baguette.

[-] ooterness@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago
[-] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 5 points 3 days ago

A bread knife must have teeth

[-] dumbass@aussie.zone 8 points 3 days ago

They never said it was a good bread knife.

[-] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

Fair enough have a good day ahead.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago
[-] stringere@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

This deserves more upvotes.

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Oh wow, I've never seen a stabaguette before!

[-] Lulzagna@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago
[-] sdcSpade@lemmy.zip 19 points 4 days ago

Add a gun and it's a Bayoguette.

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 31 points 4 days ago

Somebody touch my baguette!

[-] Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago

Wait til that "assault with a deli weapon" guy hears about this

[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 days ago

the baguette outfit in clair obscur finally makes sense

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 4 days ago

It always made sense.

[-] brap@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Hon hon hon

[-] chelatna@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

stabuette a little with my baguette

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

I never leave my house without my tactical assault baguette!

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

hon hon homicide

[-] Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

Mmm, this one has got quite a sharp taste. I'll take three.

[-] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Were they riding a bicycle with a basket in front?

[-] kn33@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

That is aggressively French

[-] Blackout@fedia.io 9 points 4 days ago

There were shuriken in the croissants as well

[-] cley_faye@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Remember this meme: "you mess with Ratatouille, you get Stabatouille".

[-] hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Portable Guillotine. I love quick access revolté tools.

[-] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

The French have mastered protest and revolution.

[-] Guilvareux@feddit.uk 1 points 3 days ago

That’s sure to get a rise outta the police

[-] Lexam@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I love that they gave it a crumb as well.

[-] gbzm@piefed.social 3 points 4 days ago

"Une graine dans le bocal piment" ?

[-] falcunculus@jlai.lu 5 points 4 days ago

https://www.reuters.com/article/world/fact-check-knife-concealed-in-baguette-is-from-french-novelty-shop-not-weapon-c-idUSKBN2781KE/

the photo was taken at the shop Chaise Longue, a chain which specialises in humorous and original collections of household items and gifts. The product, called “Baguette knife” can be seen on the Chaise Longue website.

A price label is clearly visible next to the baguette in one of the pictures shared on social media saying “Une graine dans le bocal piment” (“A seed in the jar – chilli”), which is the name of a Chaise Longue product. It is a jar of chilli seeds, which is part of a range of different types of seeds in jars.

[-] gbzm@piefed.social 2 points 4 days ago

Merci pour Le fact-check

[-] fubarx@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Picnic-ready, self-contained baguette. Comes with a way to cut it. The other end (off camera) contains foil-wrapped cheese wedges.

Pain vraiment complet.

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

plausible deniability: I was just cutting a baguette (to be read in French accent)

this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
706 points (100.0% liked)

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