One of my worst fears as a single dad, though it's fairly uncommon here to randomly report people for kidnapping just because it's a dad with his own child. And my offspring adores me and will stop crying almost immediately when picked up so that might help people understand I'm not a baby thief lol
My wife was waiting for me by the exit of Target with my infant son, and a lady rushed up with her cart, a baby in the baby holder, said, "Here, watch him!" and ran in the rest room.
I walked up, and saw my wife with another baby, and said, "We can't afford two, we'll have to return one," and she told me the story. I thought it was hilarious, and couldn't wait to meet this woman when she came out of the bathroom.
She eventually emerged, and thanked my wife for the help, and I said "You weren't worried about handing your daughter off to a stranger?" And she replied:
"No, she already had one, I knew she wasn't about to steal ANOTHER one!"
I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.
I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience... Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.
I can't count how often I read and heard the advice to "just present your kid with two options to choose from".
My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.
"Do you want this hat or this cap?" "Neither"
"Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?" "I want... a green... dress" we don't even have a green dress.
"Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?" "I want to go on the trampoline" .
The problem with parenting advice is every kid is different. This becomes clear after raised a gaggle of them. Anyone with one child that is giving advice is clueless.
My suggestion is not to give that type of child options. Tell them what's happening. Then do it. May that not work any better and ignores why you may have started giving them choices.
You didn't specify an age but typically choices are best for later development. Toddlers are terrorists and one should never negotiate with a terrorist.
To respond to your firat paragraph: This episode of Bluey helped me understand as a first time parent. Though this is less about personality and more about development. The mom with 9 or whatever kids really puts things into perspective.
It's funny because my own kid is literally Bluey. Super quick to do everything else, refuses to walk.
Your second and third paragraph: thank you for the advice, I'm anticipating that mine will become a terrorist. Already has learned to cry when told no, despite the fact that we've never caved in to it.
So true. I have two and they’re complete opposites. Every single thing that one is easy about the other is hard. I thought that the second would be easier because I learned some things from the first, but every lesson was useless.
I know this sounds very "duh" but I had an epiphany when I realized that the reason I hated advice and tips for parenting was that I didn't see my kid as a child, I saw her as a person. And just like I would be offended if my partner took some rando's advice on "women" to deal with me, I get subconsciously defensive when my daughter is treated like a kid that comes with a handbook. There are 5 ticks for this behavior in this age and one of them will work. Fuck that. It doesn't and it doesn't need to and it shouldn't be expected to. She's an individual, there is no manual for that.
She's turning 4 soon btw - and I love her to bits with her chaotic insanity. I feel as if it's not like she doesn't fit into a box or likes to think outside the box - she just dismantles the box, it is non-existent to her. She is actually very social, popular and follows rules well in kindergarten. Despite her answer to that theory of mind question about where the doll is being "there's multiple dolls" which spins into a Lynchian tale about parallel dolls
Yep. My Wife and I raised 4 Daughters. Each one was their own type of terror and mayhem and need to be handled differently. No toddler needs to have a choice in anything. Their minds aren't ready for that. But by the time they hit 4 or 5, they can handle limited choices pretty well. And they only get better after that.
Yeah the first time I tried the two options for clothes on my then-two year old, he snatched both options out of my hands, threw them on the ground, and screamed NO CLOTHES
I present two options. If my kid doesn't pick one of those two options, either by not responding or by requesting a third thing, I'm picking one of the two options for him. And I'm always picking what he's least likely to want.
And I'm always picking what he's least likely to want.
So parents can be assholes too.
I'm not a total asshole: After he's had his "oh shit" moment I give him one more chance to choose. He's usually a lot better at picking one of the two options on his second try.
I am cracking up at this. Please save this comment word-for-word in a journal or something. Because when he's older and truly appreciates all you've done for him you're going to find it even funnier than I did to remind him of this!
You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol
Can relate
So this one time I was like three and being too quiet. I don't remember this. Apparently I had climbed up the upright grand piano and gotten scared of heights. I pressed myself against the wall and was whispering "^help^" over and over. Not too loud, because I was worried I'd get in trouble for climbing on the piano, but I needed help.
I was a high energy child. I learned to stop my bicycle at first by jumping off it onto grass hopefully and letting the bike crash. It must have been a nightmare for my parents to watch. So any extended silence was suspicious.
This thread has reminded me of why I don't want kids.
I don’t know why, but “stealing him” is such a funny way of saying that.
How would you call dissapropriating someones children for recreational or other purposes?
Kidnap?
They are not supposed to scream during the process, it actually signals the end of it.
There is a reason for declining child birth numbers... it has everything to do with more people knowing what they are really getting into.
I don't need more reasons to not want children, I'm already decided, but this thread is sure reaffirming.
And that everyone's too damn poor. Babysitter? Not on average wages! No one wants to give up all of their time and money for kids they might not be able to provide for.
Well if there was public daycare to take the stress off of parents who couldn't deal with it then it wouldn't be as big of an issue.
... but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don't want him around either
Well most of times you can differentiate frustration screaming and fear/danger screaming on toddlers
This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn't any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I'm done now.
And they haven't thrown a fit since.
I've been reading some variation of this joke since the early 80s.
I am confident it can be found somewhere in Shakespeare's plays and perhaps on clay tablets hidden deep in the Mesopotamian valley.
My son fought me getting in the high chair in a restaurant yesterday. Wife had to hold him while I held his legs straight to get in. I feel that
How TF are they so strong!? I also noticed a difference in physical strength between boys and girls - while expected I did not anticipate it being so much different. I really have to use a muscle on my son sometimes and he’s not even 2 yo.
Same for kids and pets... They're not really strong, it's just that:
You're trying not to hurt them or yourself, they don't really care. This really levels the playing field.
You're trying to accomplish a goal, they're trying to do anything but that.this gives them a huge advantage.
That is a pretty funny remark.
My son(11) will say, "you can't do that, I'll call the police and they will arrest you". I say, great maybe I'll get some peace and quiet. He doesn't know I won't, so it works. Lol.
I think it's time. you gotta sacrifice the strategy because 11 is old enough to know acab
My 4yo always threatens "I won't invite you to my birthday party!" I always respond with "Yes, thank you, please don't." Which is confusing, because apparently it is the go-to threat in daycare to force ohther children to do something 😅. Then I am immediately invited again.
I have been told I have to go to my room and stay there. I'm like, you promise? Didn't take long for that threat to stop.
Just wait until he’s 16 lol
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